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Reviewer: Snarfles Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Jun 2013 - 09:09 pm Title: Prologue

The basis of good fiction/fantasy is to facilitate the reader's desire to suspend disbelief.  To do this, the author must incorporate as much fact as possible to support the fictional premise.  Character development is essential to give the reader someone they can identify with, someone they can care about.  

Avoid 1st person stories, instead use 3rd person perspective and never let your characters talk 'to' the reader, instead tell your reader about the characters, what has happened (and is happening) to them and how they feel about those events.  The events might be fiction/fantasy, but realistic responses by your characters will ring true to your readers and give your characters believability.

In the current state this story is, I doubt you will have any problems with any spin-off authors misusing your work.  There is no plot, there are no characters (just names), and you failed in your stated goal of conveying the japanese outlook on transgender issues.

Finally, proofread your work repeatedly.  Have a friend proofread it.  Make two hard copies and have someone read it aloud while you follow along reading your copy with a correction pen in hand.  Don't trust the spell-checker to supply the proper words for you.  Just because a word is spelled correctly doesn't mean its the right word.  Don't use the submission box to compose your work, do it properly, with a word processor; edit, proofread, re-write, etc until it is the best you can do.  Then copy paste it onto the site.


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