"Hello?"

It was my old college friend, Carol, on the phone.

"I'm engaged!"

"About time too," I replied, laughing.  "Who's the lucky guy?"

"Jim.  He asked me last night."

"Hey, you're serious, aren't you?"

"Of course.  It's wonderful!"

"It sure is.  I'm very happy for you.  I'm glad he finally figured out how nice a girl you are."

I could almost feel her excitement through the phone.  I couldn't count the number of times she'd thought she had found Mr. Right, and whoever he was, he drifted off.  I just hoped this one really was different.  This Jim was a guy she'd been seeing steadily now for over a year, which was also a record.

"Be sure and let me know when the wedding is." I said teasingly.  "I might be able to get off work."

"You'd BETTER get off.  You're going to be in it!"

"I'll be there, don't worry.  Name one time, when you've needed me that I've not found a way to be there."

"Oh, I know.  You're wonderful.  Pity you're already married."

I laughed with her and responded, "Yeah, but you aren't looking for a wife."

"True, I've always said you'd make someone a wonderful wife."

We both laughed at the old joke.  We chatted about old times, and before she rang off, to call other friends, she said she'd let me know wedding details when she had them.

Later that night, over dinner, I mentioned to my spouse that Carol was engaged.

"You're kidding.  She's such a high powered and high energy person I never thought someone would get up the courage to ask her.  Wait, she was asked, wasn't she?"

Laughing, "Yes, last night apparently."

"She must have spent the day calling people."

"I suspect so.  She caught me pretty early this morning, so I don't know for sure."

"Well, I'm sure she'll have things organized soon.  Let me know when the wedding is.  Hopefully, the kids and I'll be able to go too."

I appreciated how she assumed I'd be going.  "Yeah.  She all but forced me to promise to be there."

"I'm not surprised.  You've known her longer than you have me.  I don't know why you two never got together, but I'm glad it didn't happen."

"So am I, honey.  She's a great friend, but it's you I love!"

The next few weeks went peacefully enough.  I wasn't sure whether to expect Carol to move mountains to get the wedding soon, or wait until spring like she'd always said when the topic came up in our discussions.  Thinking about that, took me back to our many chats over the years.  We'd chatted about anything and everything.  I guess it's a good thing we lived on different coasts.  If we were closer, we might get together more often and never get anything done.  No, that's not true.  She'd always been driven.  She made room for her friends, but she also pushed her career as well.

Eventually, she called again with the details.  We'd talked a few times in between, but it was mostly solving the problems of the world and keeping up to date on our lives.

I wrote down the date and times she described.  It was only when she got to the schedule of events that I got a glimmer that something was going on.

"And, I'll need you to come out a month before then to be fitted."

"What?  Backup.  Fitted?"

"Well you are going to be in the wedding party.  You said you would."

"I did?  I'll be glad to, but doesn't the fiancée normally pick out his groomsmen?"

"No, you're not one of his groomsmen.  You're one of my bridesmaids."

"Come on, you're kidding, right?"

"No.  I need you, and you need this."

"Even if I agree, what does that have to do with the fitting?  A Tux is easy, a few measurements…"

She cut me off.  "Stevie, you're going to be a bridesmaid.  Bridesmaids do NOT wear tuxes.  You'll be in a gown, just like the rest."

To say I was stunned was the understatement of the year, maybe the century.  I mean, she knew my secret, but nobody else did.  As painful as it sometimes was, I'd kept it hidden from Shelly and the kids and everyone else.  When I'd almost transitioned, over a dozen years ago, I'd visited Carol, as myself and she'd taken it in her stride.  What a wonderful weekend that had been and—while she didn't really understand—she had been very supporting.

I'd planned on telling Shelly when I got back, but she was involved in an accident.  After that it was one thing after another, until our first kid was on the way.  At that point, I gave up that dream, and dedicated myself to being what my family needed.  Carol knew all this too.

"Carol," I choked out.  I so wanted to do it, but I feared the affect it would have on Shelly and the kids, much less on everyone else.

"Stevie, you know you need to do this.  Even more, I want you to do this.  I've dreamed of it since you let me meet the real you.  Before that, my one fear was that my best friend couldn't be in my wedding. Meeting you that weekend, and our talks getting to know that side of you.  I couldn't wait.  That's why you were the first person I called."

I was stunned again. She called me first!  "You should have called your mom."

"I did silly, right after we talked."

"What would your mom say if she saw a guy in a dress as one of your bridesmaids?"

"She wouldn't.  You know as well as I do, you only look like a guy, and not an overly macho one at that."

"Granted, but I'm overweight and you don't need an ugly bridesmaid.  This should be the happiest day of your life."

"If you're not there to share it, it won't be so nice, Stevie.  I need your help."

I laughed at that.  "How could you possibly need MY help?  You have it, of course, but why?"

"I'm afraid, Stevie."

"What?"

"I'm afraid I'll go crazy with the anticipation and excitement.  I need you to keep me calm; to be my anchor."

I know I'd talked her through some pretty rough times over the years.  She'd not taken getting dumped by guys at all well, and it was always my shoulder she'd cried on.  Well, ear anyway."

"I'll be there for you, Carol.  But, please, reconsider.  You don't really need me in the party.  I'll be there to talk to any time."

"No, I need..." she broke off at that.  Okay, I'll think about it, but you make your plans, including for the fitting weekend!  I need you to get me through that too."

I took a deep breath. "I'll talk to Shelly."

"Thank you Stevie.  I do want you to be one of my bridesmaids.  I really do, but I'll think it over like you asked."

"Thanks.  I'm sure you'll make the right decision."  That was one of the hardest things I'd ever said; giving up my chance to be a bridesmaid.  I kept my voice steady as we said goodbye, but collapsed into tears after hanging up.

By the time Shelly got home, I'd composed myself, and had my story ready.  I figured Carol would come to her senses and I'd just be along for moral support anyway.

"Hi honey.  Carol called with the details this morning."

"Good, let's see what it looks like."

I explained the basic details, and then told her about Carol's request that I be there to help while the bridesmaids were being fitted.

"Why?"  Shelly started; then she sighed.  "At least this time, she's planning in advance.  Let me guess, she's afraid she'll go crazy without you there to keep her level headed, isn't she?"

"Got it in one.  I knew there was a reason I married you."

"Silly.  I hope that wasn't the only one."

"Of course not.  Besides that, you're a great cook..." I reached out and we embraced.  Oh, I loved her so much.  "And, this is the biggest reason; I love you."

"Okay, so you have to go a month early for a weekend, and then there's the wedding.  I'm not sure if the kid's schedule will support the wedding, but, we'll work something out."

That night, as I tried to get to sleep, I wondered if I should have taken the opportunity then to tell her that Carol had asked me to be a bridesmaid.  I made a resolution then, that for my friend, I'd finally buckle down and loose the weight I'd slowly put on over the years.  I would try to not embarrass Carol by being a slob at her wedding.

I dreamed that night as well.  It was nothing new, but now Carol was the bride, and I was standing there beside her, holding her flowers while her sister handed her the ring.  It was beautiful.  Carol's gown was a flowing lace design, which we'd had to spread behind her.  We were all in floor length chiffon gowns.  The gowns had a tiny rose where the V formed between our breasts.  The rainbow effect was beautiful, my gown was a bright blue, and her sister, Stacy's was a deep blue.  The girl next to me had a bright Kelly dress, and so on.  The effect Carol had arranged was beautiful.  The men all had cummerbunds that matched our dresses.

Awakening in the morning, I savored the dream, for a while.  I knew it had been prompted by Carol's call, but it was still a wonderful dream.  Things returned to normal around the house, and I did keep to my self promise and was more careful in my eating and more regular in my walking.  After a few weeks, it did start to have a noticeable effect.

"Losing weight, aren't you honey?"

"Yes.  I suspect my vanity may have had something to do with it."

"You?"

"It was after Carol's call with the wedding dates.  I guess I figured I didn't want any old school friends, assuming any are there, to see how far I'd let myself go."

She laughed at that.  "Whatever the reason, you're looking good, and I'm glad.  At this rate, you'll be pretty slim by the time her wedding gets here.  You may just get your ponytail long enough to send off by then too, so you can be neat as well."

I laughed.  "I also counted the months, and I think I'll have some time to spare.  At least it's something I can do for those poor kids undergoing chemo."

"You don't watch out, you'll be looking like you did when we got married."

"If I make that, it'd be good.  Then both of us would."  Shelly, luckily, had one of those fast metabolisms, and it had only started slowing down recently.

"You say the nicest things.  But, I'm serious.  If you keep going at the rate you appear, you may well be back down there."

"That'd be nice, but I'm not betting I'll be able to keep the discipline to do this, any more than other times.  Something will come up and distract me, and poof there it goes."

"I'll help you remember, if you want?"

I hugged her, and thanked her.  Maybe I have a chance to lose most of this, and if Carol does insist that I be in the wedding party, my weight won't make me look too bad in a tux.  I'd love to actually be in a gown with the others but that just wasn't going to happen.

It had been a month, and Carol hadn't said anything the last time we'd talked.  I was getting ready to call her to see how things were going, when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Steve?"

"Yes.  Who's calling?"  The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place it.  I wish I'd checked Caller-ID, but as I'd been almost ready to call out, without thinking, I just answered.

"Steve, this is Stacy," she paused, and I tried to think if it was one of the kids friends moms.  "Carol's sister."

"Oh, sorry Stacy.  I was getting ready to give Carol a call, and was trying to figure out which of the kids friends moms was calling.  What can I do for you?"

"You can tell Carol that you'll be a bridesmaid.  I can't imagine why she wants you, but she does.  She's been frantic ever since you turned her down."

"She didn't say anything two weeks ago."

"Of course not, you ninny.  She knows she has a reputation for bulldozing and she won't bulldoze you, Steve.  You're too important to her."  She paused then added; "But, PLEASE, PLEASE tell her you'll do it."

"You want a guy in a dress in the wedding party?"

"To be honest, no, but Carol does, so that's good enough for me.  Please, tell me you'll agree!  Don't make what should be her happiest day one she has regrets for."

"I don't know what to say."

"Just tell her you'll do it.  Please. She's acting less excited about her wedding than she was while making the plans.  You know, I think if I couldn't have been there she'd have wanted you to be her maid of honor, too."

"Let me think about it.  It's a lot to ask."

"Don't think too long.  You're really getting her tied up inside."

"I'm sorry.  I really am."

I walked out into the den, where Shelly was watching something on the tube.  I knew it wasn't one of the shows she followed on a regular basis, so I figured it'd be okay to interrupt.  "Got a few minutes to talk about something, honey?"

She clicked the remote.  "Of course, what's up?"

"That was Carol's sister."

"Nothing's happened has it?"

"No, but she was stressing even more how important Carol feels my presence is."

"Of course, and you'll be there."  She paused a moment.  "There's something more, isn't there?"

I nodded.  "When Carol gave me the dates for the wedding events, she also asked me to be in the party.  I turned her down, but said I'd be there for her."

"Why on earth did you turn her down?  It's not like you've not been a groomsman before."

I took a deep breath.  "Not as a groomsman, she wants me to be a bridesmaid."  There, I'd said it.

"She's always been a bit unusual.  But, if she wants a guy in a tux on her side of the church, why don't you do it anyway?"

When I didn't respond immediately, "No, she didn't!"

I must have made a face or looked different, because she then continued.  "She did.  She actually asked you to be a bridesmaid.  That's why she wants you at the fitting!  The gall, asking a guy to wear a dress; I thought she was your friend!"

"Shelly, she is my friend," I said quietly.

"What are you telling me?"

"Honey, wearing the dress wasn't why I turned her down.  How it would affect you, and how looking like an ugly cow would hurt her lovely day are the biggest reasons."

"I don't think I understand."

"I know.  I'm really sorry.  I never planned on telling you about this.  Remember me seeing the shrink for a year while you were in your last year of grad school and I was working?"

"Yes, you said you had some issues you needed to work through, and didn't want to distract me while I was on the home stretch."

"It's related to that."

The phone rang again.  Shelly picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Yes, he's here.  Who's calling?"  She listened a moment.  "Steve, it's someone named Jim, and he says Stacy asked him to call."  I could hear the question in her voice.

"I'll take it here, I guess.  Jim's Carol's fiancée and I suspect it's related.  You can stay on if you want."

"Okay."  Then, back to the phone, "Hello, he'll be on directly."

I went and grabbed one of the portable phones and joined the call.  "Hello, Jim.  This is Steve."

"Steve, I just got a call from Stacy telling me that Carol had asked you to do something for the wedding.  I didn't ask her what. It's her wedding, after all.  I'm just there 'cause she wants the big wedding."

"Well, watch out, she'll have it organized to the last minute, if you let her."

"That's quite all right.  I know she's an organizer.  If I didn't know better, I'd have thought she'd have written my proposition speech, but I surprised her on that one."

"Way to go.  It is hard to surprise Carol.  She doesn't always like big surprises."

"This one she did, but I want you to know, after she bounced off the ceiling and said yes, one of the first thing she said was that she had to tell Steve.  If I didn't know you were married, I might almost be jealous of you."

"She did wait until the next morning."

"I know.  I, um, stole the battery in her phone."

Shelly and I were laughing pretty loudly at that.

"Now, I'm really looking forward to meeting you, but the reason I called, is that Carol's really stressed out, and Stacy just explained why.  Apparently she asked you to do something for the wedding, and you turned her down.  She REALLY must care for your friendship, ‘cause everyone else is pushed and bullied and made to march to her orders.  She's not even told me what it was, or that you said no.  But, I'd really appreciate it if you'd reconsider.  She means the world to me, and I want her day to be perfect."

"I'm talking it over with my wife now, Jim.  She answered the phone."

"Please tell her you'll do it, and soon?"

I looked over at Shelly, "Okay, I'll try to get her an answer today or tomorrow.  That's the best I can promise, Jim."

"Okay, guy.  I guess I can't ask for more.  But, please.  If you possibly can, do it."

We hung up, and stood there staring at each other for a few minutes.

"He doesn't know what he's asking." I started.

"He does, but you're right, he doesn't.  What were you trying to say about the shrink you were seeing?"

"I'm not sure how to make it easy.  The shrink diagnosed me with a condition and it was later confirmed by one of his colleagues."

"You're not sick or anything?"  Shelly was starting to sound worried.

"I don't think so, and neither did the shrinks.  Just different.  Maybe they put an Abby Normal brain in my head when I was starting out life."

"Honey, you're avoiding the issue."

"I know.  I've been avoiding it since I learned.  I was afraid that if I told you, it would change what you thought of me."

"Don't you think I know you and don't you trust me?  Whatever it is, we'll keep on going, and deal with it together instead of you playing macho hero and hiding it.  I mean, it's not like you're a closet psychopath or anything."

"No, and it's not really terminal, but it has been stress inducing."

"Well, you are supposed to reduce your stress."

"I know.  Okay, the name for what describes me is transsexual."

"You don't know what sex you are?"

"No, I do, only it's not what most people think.  I'm a girl, but I was born in a guy's body."

"You have to be kidding me, now."

"No, honey."

"That's not possible.  We have kids, you said you loved me.  Believe me, I know you function perfectly well.  Are you telling me you like guys?"

"No.  There's nobody for me, except you." 

At this point, I just broke down and cried.  I couldn't take the stress holding myself together or her unbelief.  After a while, I realized I wasn't the only one crying, and she'd joined me on the sofa hugging me.

Eventually, after much saying of, "I'm so sorry," on both of our parts, we settled down and we talked some more.

"I don't think I understand.  Are you going to turn into a girl?"

"I don't plan on it.  I don't know what the law is today, but when I discovered what I am, we would have had to divorce for me to be a girl and I couldn't do that.  I loved you, and still love you too much."

We talked some more.  I could see she was trying to understand, and I was trying to explain what it felt like, and how and why I'd hidden things for all of these years.  I also told her of the dreams I'd had of becoming a bridesmaid one day.

Eventually, we came to the conclusion that I could tell Carol that, if there was a way I could do it without looking like a fool or a clown and disrupt her wedding, I would do it, and if not, I'd still be in her wedding party, but I'd wear a tux.  Neither of us really believed I'd be able to, but we thought this might be a way to help Carol through the coming months, and that even if it did end up being possible, we'd cross that bridge when we came to it.  In any event, we didn't need to tell the kids anything, and when it was over, I'd go back to being their father.

Shelly and I called Carol together, so she'd know that I'd told her, and let her know our conditions for my agreeing to be a bridesmaid.  Typical for Carol, she was ecstatic, and said she'd find a way to help me be the bridesmaid we both knew I wanted to be.  I didn't think this last remark went down very well with Shelly.

--- Continued

Part 2

Things were slightly strained between us for a few days, so I slept in the guest bed. As I'd had to do this periodically when getting up early for business trips or when my legs were acting up, the kids didn't comment on THAT. I guess, in retrospect, the twitching I'd had while sleeping for a few months wasn't all bad. Though, I think that our youngest, Hope, asking Shelly, "Why are you angry with Daddy?" did get her thinking. Because, that evening, she suggested I return to our bed.

The next few months, things seemed to gradually get better and return almost to what had been normal. Shelly and I had many long talks, and she came to believe, I think, that I was still the same person I'd been before. We even became intimate again, but not quite the same way. I think part of it was that I no longer felt like I had to pretend to be so macho with her.

About three months before the wedding, I got a call from Carol, saying she'd found a school that claimed to teach men how to act like ladies. A finishing school as it were, and she said she'd arranged for me to do a day there in the next two weeks with the caveat that they did nothing that was permanent and visible above the neck, so I didn't have to try explaining it at work. She also said that if the day worked out, she'd arranged for me to do a day a week until the fitting.

I explained what she'd done to Shelly, and she said that I should do the trial day, as I'd agreed to try anyway. We checked the place out together, and when they said spouses were welcome to join, she decided to come along, and see what was happening. Especially since Carol had already paid for it.

Needless to say, I was surprised at Shelly's reaction, but thrilled as well. On the appointed day, Mom took care of the kids, while Shelly and I went for a 'day in the city'. I don't really think it was the day mom was expecting, but she didn't need to know.

I'd wondered a lot of things about what was going to happen, based on my experiences from long ago. My eyebrows, my hands, fingers and nails, my beard; I thought they were all going to be challenges. My voice was something else. I'd been able to get laughs at parties doing a James Earl Jones – Darth Vader imitation, and didn't see how that would be worked. Shelly admitted to being curious about that as well. Okay, I don't normally talk that low, but that I even can...

The experience was both painful, and surprising. Some of the things we'd expected to be difficult, ended up being easy for them to manage, while others that hadn't occurred to us were more challenging. They also explained where they were doing things a little different due to the no visible long term changes when fully dressed constraint. Like, they didn't apply nail extensions, when I had my hands done. They still looked and felt very nice to me. And, I was surprised at how much that helped. The biggest surprise was that my voice wasn't unworkable. I mean, I obviously wouldn't do the Darth Vader impression while dressed, but it seems my ear that allowed me to do impressions at all, helped with talking too. For me—after the painful parts anyway—it was a pleasure, although I wasn't sure how Shelly was taking it.

On the way home she said, "Steve, from what I saw today, I think they can do it."

That came from left field. I mean, I expected to talk about what happened, but I expected us to agree that they couldn't do the job. As much as I'd enjoyed it and wished it could happen, I still saw a man, not a woman. "What do you mean?'

"I mean, I think they can do what they said, and teach you to be a woman and look like one too."

"I don't know. To be honest, except for the painful parts, I enjoyed it, but at the end of the day, I really didn't see anyone different in the mirror—I was still me."

"Oh, I could tell it was you too, but it was a different you."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be." She gave a sigh. "This means you will be a bridesmaid though."

"I can just tell Carol that it didn't work"

"No, Steve. You don't lie well. Maybe you can avoid telling the whole truth, but an outright lie? I don't think you have it in you."

I sighed, "I'm sorry. No, that's not right. I'm glad I can't lie, but I'm sorry it worked out."

"Well, maybe going through this will let you get all of this out of your system. Go ahead and give Carol a call when we get home, and tomorrow, call the school and let them know you'll be finishing the classes."

"Are you sure, honey?"

"Steve, we agreed that if you weren't going to make a fool out of yourself and disrupt her wedding you would do it." She paused. "Well, with the school's help, I think you'll be able to manage."

I called Carol when we got home, and as I expected, she was hyper. It took a good half hour talking to get her to settle down. Once she did though, her first question was for Shelly.

"No, she's the one who decided. I was convinced the school wouldn't work but she disagreed."

"I just hope I'm just as lucky with Jim. I think so, but..." her voice trailed off.

"Hey, nobody said you could worry out there," I said trying to lighten her mood. "I know he wants you to be happy." I just wondered what his reaction would be when he found out just what he'd been asking me to do. We chatted a few more minutes before ending the call. She seemed fine then.

Later that night, Shelly and I found that having a hairless body seemed to have some good side effects as well. I joked that we'd have to do our waxing together in the future, and she even smiled at it.

The time before the fitting seemed to both crawl and fly. I loved most of the lessons I was getting at the finishing school, and had a lot of work, which, luckily, was not requiring lots of travel for a change. Shelly no longer attended the sessions with me, but that didn't stop her from asking about my progress. About a week before I was due to head out to California, she arranged for us to have an evening out. Not just dinner, but a hotel room as well. Her mom was staying with the kids for the night, and thought it was very romantic that we were doing this.

"Steve, I need to meet Stevie before you go out there."

"What?"

"Bring your stuff, and after we check into the hotel, I'll go read for a while. I want you to join me in the lobby, as Stevie."

I was shocked a little. "Are you sure, honey?"

"Yes, I need to. Let me know how long you need, and I'll make the dinner reservations."

Wow, she was really going all out. I just hoped I didn't embarrass her. I'd been out quite a number of times as part of my training; I just wasn't sure how she'd take it.

I needn't have worried. While she wasn't affectionate or anything, she seemed to be doing well. Later back in the room, we talked a long while. She didn't let me change back into my guy outfit until time to go to sleep.

"Steve. No, you're definitely Stevie tonight. There is no question, but I had to know."

"I know. You'll never have to worry about me competing in any beauty pageants though."

"No, but, there's no doubt that you're a woman when I look at you; a handsome one at that."

The last surprised me a little, but it was a pleasant one.

"Stevie, when you get ready, get your nails done with tips for the trip. You can cut and file them off when you return."

"I don't need to honey. Don't you think that will make traveling more difficult?"

"No, Stevie can travel as well as Steve. There's no law against what you're doing."

I couldn't believe my ears. But, she was serious, and wouldn't stop until I agreed. I hoped that I could manage with the longer nails. What was I worried about? That was the LEAST of my concerns.

As it turned out, the only place I had ANY difficulty at all, was when I went through security at the airport, on my way to California. They compared my ID picture with the tickets, and, in retrospect it wasn't surprising, but they had problems with the discrepancy. I ended up talking with the travel security guys supervisor for a bit, but I'd given myself an extra hour anyway.

"You know, you're really amazing. I don't think there's ANY way I would have believed you and the person in the photo were the same one."

"It's taken a lot of work."

"I dunno, I don't think I'd have been willing to go through that for my sister, let alone a friend. I won't say she's strange for wanting you to be in her wedding party, but this is extreme."

I nodded, letting him assume that I didn't like this at all. "My wife and I were against the idea for a long time, but agreed in the end, if she could arrange for me to be passable. Well, we figured that would be the end of that. But, as you can see, she found a way, and as I'd agreed, I couldn't well back out."

"No, I guess you couldn't welch out on the agreement. You're a stronger man than me for that. However, this will help me remember that just because I don't believe something can happen I shouldn't bet on it."

We both laughed at that.

"You can get along now. I'll take you through the X-rays so you don't get any more issues, and this note should help on your return flight."

I thanked him, and security went as expected now. There were no further issues traveling, for which I was thankful.

Carol and Stacy were waiting for me at the airport, and it was a statement to what I'd learned that neither recognized me until I walked up.

"Hello Carol. Hi Stacy."

"Yes, STEVIE." I figured my ears would recover, and I did succeed in catching Carol as she launched herself at me. Stacy just stood there with a shocked expression on her face.

After a bit, Carol calmed down, and we were able to get Stacy to come out of her daze. To say I was pleased by their reaction would be putting it mildly. I know I'd 'graduated' from the finishing school, but until now, I really didn't have that much confidence I could pull this off.

We collected my bag, and went out to Stacy's car.

"Steve. No, Stevie, I really don't know how you did it, but you did."

"It WAS a lot of work, but your sister found someone that could teach me. I just hope I can manage to meet your expectations and do what I need to."

Carol was holding my hand as if I were a lifesaver. Which told me she was way more stressed than she'd let on when we talked.

"Carol, did you ever tell Jim what you asked me to do?"

She was quiet a minute. "No."

"I didn't think so. Do you want me to?"

"Not now, okay?"

"Okay, Carol."

"Is, is Shelly really okay with this?"

"Some of it anyway. She'll be here for the wedding. We've arranged to come out the week before, sorta as a vacation. Our parents will keep the kids."

"Oh, that's great. I know she was invited to the reception too, but I had no idea whether she'd be willing to come."

"You're bouncing," I said, as I'd said any number of times over the years. It had the usual affect of getting her to settle down.

"Damn, Stevie, I've NEVER seen anyone else do that to her. How do you do it?"

I looked at Carol, and we said together "Do what?"

"You two are impossible. One would almost think you were related or something."

"No, Stacy. I'm nobody. Carol said so."

"Huh. I don't think I've heard THAT story."

"No, don't tell it, please."

"She's your sister, Carol, and it has been a LONG time."

She sighed, "Okay."

It goes back to our time at the University. I was visiting her dorm room and we were probably solving the problems of the world, or maybe she was telling me about the latest guy she'd failed to have a second date with or something."

I could feel her squeezing my hand tighter, so I returned the pressure and she relaxed some.

"The phone rang, and it was a guy she'd wanted to date for ages calling to see if she wanted to go out. I didn't hear his end of the call, but she said 'No, I'm not busy. nobody's here right now.' while at the same time holding my hand to keep from screaming and not letting me get up to leave."

"You're kidding. She talked to a potential boy friend, with you sitting right there, as if you weren't there?"

"That pretty much sums it up. Carol, how long did I sign my names 'nobody' after that?"

"At least five years. You stopped after visiting me that time before Shelly had that accident."

"I thought that was it, so it was more than five years after we graduated," I said chuckling.

"I can't believe you were holding one guy's hand while talking to another."

"I wasn't, Stace. I was holding Stevie's hand."

"I don't get it. But you will explain it later tonight!"

Carol looked at me, and I nodded. "You did sorta make a strange statement there, you know. It doesn't hurt if you tell her."

"I'll muck it up somehow, Stevie."

I could see she needed help again. "Okay, if we have time when we get to my hotel, I'll explain what you meant. Will that do, Stacy?"

"I guess. I can't see why my own sister is so confusing."

We were quieter the last bit of the ride. I did find out that the other out-of-town bridesmaids were also staying in the same hotel, at which point, I asked, "How many of us ARE there?"

"Carol, you did tell him, didn't you?"

"I, uh, no..."

"Carol! You asked him to go through all this, and didn't tell him there were five other bridesmaids?"

"No, she didn't Stacy. I'll deal with it, but, I need to ask you to refer to me as her or she, if you can. Otherwise, we all may be embarrassed."

"Sorry, you're right. I was just a bit angry at sis for leaving that detail out, and I'm wondering how much else she didn't tell you."

"Perhaps we should go over everything at the same time I explain her statement?"

"I think that'd be a good idea."

"Hey, I am here, you two." Carol finally chimed in.

"Don't worry, we couldn't forget you. We'd not be here otherwise, you know." I squeezed her hand at the same time, to let her know I understood.

We parked at the hotel, and the clerk did a double take as I checked in. But that was it.

"You'll be on the eighth floor, ma'am. Do you need a bell hop?"

"No thank you."

"All right then, the elevators to your tower are across the lobby to the left." He indicated the direction.

I thanked him, and we headed up to the room.

I guess both Stacy and I got a few surprises that evening; she'd run into one or two transsexuals in the course of her job, but had never had much of an opportunity to REALLY talk to them. I promised to answer anything I could.

"If Carol had already known then, I could almost understand what happened with the 'Nobody', but she didn't know then, did she?"

"No, I don't think so. You didn't, did you?"

"No, I just found you comfortable to be around, Stevie. We could talk about anything and you never seemed interested in being more than a friend, nor did you act threatened by me. I guess it was a miracle we got along. I'm glad though."

I laughed. "You're a good friend, and you've never been judgmental of me."

"Now, Stacy, what ELSE might I have missed hearing about?"

"Hmmm. Well, we all have a party tomorrow night, after the fitting."

"Yes, it's a shower, isn't it?"

"That's part of it."

"Okay, she said there was a shower you were throwing, and Shelly said I should bring a gift for the wedding night."

"You did!"

I nodded. "I'm not letting you see it until the party. You can both wait."

"I wonder what Shelly picked out," commented Stacy.

"Nothing, but when I explained it to her, she said I'd 'done good'. I think you'll appreciate it, Carol."

"Now you've got me anxious again." She stood up and started pacing.

"Sit down, Carol, and think."

She turned to me. "You didn't?"

"You'll have to wait and see. But, I think you'll be okay."

"You're not supposed to wind me up, Stevie."

"Let's not worry about that. Is there anything else?" I changed the topic, thinking that would probably not get her mind off the gift, but would distract Stacy and having to concentrate on things tended to focus Carol which helped her stabilize. If I had to, I had some hints to remind her of a conversation we'd had about her dreams of her wedding night while still in college.

"What do you know about the fitting itself?" queried Stacy.

--- Continued

br>Part 3

"Well, I assume I'll have to strip most of the way down to get into the gown in a changing room and then come out so they can mark adjustments. Shelly said to expect that, when she was measuring me a few weeks ago."

"That's right as far as it goes, I'd assumed there was a private changing room," I felt, more than actually saw, Carol stiffen up a bit at that. "but, when I called on Monday, I found out we're expected to change in the same room."

I sighed. My instructors HAD prepared me for this, but I'd hoped to not really have to. Well, I guess I'll have to deal with it. "I think I can manage that. How far down do we have to strip? I mean, do I get to wear my own unders?"

"Well," began Stacy.

"Let me guess, we're all going to end up with matching sets or something."

"How did you guess?"

"It's a little detail. Carol likes to get things organized down to the littlest detail." Turning to my friend. "The bras will be fitted in private, won't they?"

She nodded. "Okay, then, as long as the fitter is professional, I don't think we have anything to worry about. She'll have seen breast forms before, and I shouldn't have to explain anything about the hows and whys. I assume that the rest doesn't require special fitting?"

"Nooo. Just a size should be enough."

I smiled, "Don't worry Stacy. I've been fitted for a bra before. It was part of the school your sister arranged for me to attend. I'll admit to being more than a little nervous the first time, but the fitters comment was on the quality of the forms, and hoped that I was recovering well."

"Recovering?"

I nodded. "I think she assumed I'd had a double mastectomy."

I could see light dawning in both of their faces.

"That would make sense, and if someone were to ask, we could just say..."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, Stacy."

Carol gave a little snicker.

"What?" her sister asked.

"Stevie can't lie to save her life, Stace," then to me, "You'd tell them the truth wouldn't you?"

"If asked," I said quietly.

"Okay then, let's see if we can avoid the question. But, if it does come up, we'll deal with any consequences.

We chatted for another hour or so, and Stacy became more and more comfortable as the time went on. Carol also visibly relaxed.

As they were leaving, Carol gave me a big hug. "I'm soooo glad you're finally here now, Stevie."

"I know, and thanks, Carol."

About an hour later, I got a call from Stacy.

"Stevie, I know you've done far more than anyone could have asked for Carol, and I really want to thank you. I'd really not realized how tense she'd been the past months, until our ride home, and she was sooo relaxed. I'm not sure how or why, but she's acting as if she's not got a care in the world."

"I'm glad. She should be happy now, not stressing."

"Thank you, Stevie. I just had to call and tell you that I appreciate all you've done."

"I've done what anyone would do for a friend." I paused briefly. "Okay, maybe a bit more, but, nothing I really wasn't happy to do."

"Whatever it is, I'm glad. Now, since I'm sure you're exhausted, I'll let you go. We'll stop by to pick you and the others up, before we head off shoe shopping."

"Let me guess, shoes to match the gowns."

"Yeah, I forgot to mention that was part of the fitting. We need you all to have your shoes, so the lengths will be right."

"No problem, Stacy. I'd wondered how that was going to be managed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Thanks again." She hung up.

I spent a little time hanging things up, and getting ready for bed. I suddenly thought to check the pillows, and was relieved to see that my preferred foam pillows were there and I'd not have to push off the feather pillows. The times I'd forgotten to check, I'd not lasted the night. Allergies ARE a big pain. After cleaning up, I got in my nightgown, and was asleep almost as quickly as my head hit my pillow.

At breakfast, I tried to guess who the other bridesmaids might be. Then, realizing I was silly, I gave up and enjoyed a light breakfast of yogurt and fruit instead. I pulled out my crackberry to check the time and saw I had enough to go back up and make sure all was ready. If I'm going to be doing this much, I need a watch. I sighed. What am I thinking? Once the wedding is over, I'll have to revert to being Steve.

I shook myself, and decided to make the best of things.

In the lobby, I found Carol waiting with two other ladies.

"Hi, Stevie. This is Karen and Samantha."

I greeted them both as Carol explained that they were the two that had shared an apartment with her while at Wharton.

"I recall your time in Philly. She used to tell tales about you two."

"Stevie."

"No, seriously, she said nothing but nice things."

"You're the person she was talking to all the time?"

"I dunno, you'd have to ask her."

They both looked at Carol and she shrugged. "Probably."

They both laughed, and Karen said, "Sam, how many times you figure Carol called her?"

"Oh, at least once a week. You know, at first, I thought you were her boyfriend. Until she went out with that guy, what was his name Karen?"

"You mean the blond in our class, or was it the artist?"

"Oh, I forgot about the artist. I meant the blond though."

I could see Carol starting to get nervous, so I decided to intervene. "Are we meeting Stacy and the others here? Or, should we get going?"

I could see the gratitude in Carol's eyes; "No, we're supposed to meet them at the shop, and Louise will be a little late, so if we don't get a move on, the whole day will be delayed."

I could see they didn't mind stopping the teasing too much. We went and got into Carol's BMW, and settled down for the ride.

"Where are you two from?"

"We're in The City at Goldman Sachs. You?"

"Believe it or not, Jersey."

We had about fifteen minutes to chat about things we'd seen or done in the area. It seemed they had similar tastes in Broadway shows, and had seen some of the same ones.

We had gotten so engrossed in talking about The City, that we almost didn't notice when Carol pulled into a parking lot.

As we got out, she said, "Looks like Stacy's not here yet. She was picking up Mary and Alice. Let's go on in and get started." She looked at her watch, and looked around again.

"Come on, Carol. Stacy'll be here. Don't worry."

"Thanks, Stevie. I know, I just want..."

I interrupted. "Yes, you want everything to run smoothly, and it will."

She took a deep breath, while looking at me, "I know." She said as she let it out. "Thanks."

We went on into the store to see what Carol had planned for our feet.

When we saw the shoes, Sam and Karen were happy with the style, but I was a bit concerned. "I'm tall enough already, and you want me to wear heels like that?"

"Oh, you won't be the tallest, Stevie. Wait until you meet Louise."

I wondered how tall she was. At 5' 9", I was no shrimp. I did try on the shoes, and found them very comfortable. I was glad my feet, while a bit on the large side, were not huge. I smiled a little.

"What's so funny, Stevie?"

"Oh, I was just thinking that it was a little funny that my feet are a half size smaller than Shelly's."

She smiled as well. "Oh, there's Stacy pulling in."

I looked out, and saw a blue Honda pulling in. "You stay here with them and I'll let Stacy know we're already here.

"Hi Stacy, you're late, Carol's been looking out the window for the past five minutes."

"I'd planned on being here first, but Alice's husband's out of town, and her sitter had just gotten there."

I saw one of them looking a little tired. "You must be Alice. I'm Stevie and I understand how it can be. Luckily my oldest is approaching the point where she can be left at home in charge of her younger siblings."

"That'll be a nice time, but my twins are only seven."

I nodded understanding. "We'd best go in Stacy."

"Yes, we don't need Carol to have a conniption. By the way, as she introduced herself, this is Stevie, Carol's oldest friend. And you figured out who Alice was, and this is Mary."

I could see that Mary appeared to be a shy person. "Did you have to use the old word?" That got a laugh out of them all, and we went in.

"Stacy, you got here. Now, if only Louise could get here too."

I went over to Carol, and put an arm on her shoulder. She'll get here too. You said she'd be later than the rest of us."

I could feel her tenseness easing out. "I know, Stevie, but..."

"No buts, Carol. We're having fun, and you will too. I know you don't let anybody tell you what to do, but since I'm nobody..."

That produced a snort from Stacy, which got the attention of the others.

"It's a long story that Stacy heard yesterday, so it's still fresh in her mind. If there's time later, and Carol misbehaves, maybe I'll share it." I looked at Carol meaningfully.

"I'll be good, Stevie."

The other girls all laughed at that.

"How do you do that? I've NEVER seen Carol back down." Samantha said as she joined us.

"Blackmail," I said, as if I were serious. "I know where she buried the bodies."

They laughed more at that.

"No, seriously, I'm sure that it's just because I've known her since our freshman year in college. It gives me a small advantage."

The shoe fitting went well, and we all got our shoes. I was a bit surprised that the same style seemed to fit us all so well. At that point, a very tall lady walked in and Carol jumped up. I reached out and took her hand. "Louise?"

She nodded, and dragged me over. "Louise, I'm glad you got here. I was afraid you'd have to meet us at the dress shop."

"I got off work a little earlier than I'd feared, so I'm here. I do hope you have some flats for me to wear?"

"I'm afraid not. She has us all on stilts." I said with a straight face.

"You must be one of the out-of-town girls."

"Yes, call me Stevie, and the two over there are Sam and Karen."

"She waved and turned to Carol. What's this about stilts?"

"They're only little heels. Stevie's exaggerating."

"Unless she's letting you get off easy, they're two inches."

Louise gave a martyred sigh. "What I do for you, Carol."

Stacy came up and snickered. "Stevie was about as happy with them, Louise."

"Yes, but, she's almost a shrimp like the rest of you."

I suspected the complaints were mostly an act, but wasn't sure, so I decided to lay off a bit.

"Why don't you go try them on? You may be pleasantly surprised at their comfort. I know I was."

She was, though they must have made her well over six feet tall. She could have been a model, but she had the same large bones I did, but a better figure to go with it. I wondered what she did for a living that she was on night shift.

We stopped at a lingerie store next. We'd all get more or less matching bras. The gowns would preclude the use of a standard one, as the straps would show. I know I was a little concerned, but the others didn't seem in too worried.

As it turned out, I needn't have worried. The fitter recognized my forms, for what they were, and was very professional about the whole thing. She did once say something about hoping I was better, but besides that, I was fitted and had a new bra, just like the other girls. I guess the private fittings did help avoid questions too, for which I was thankful.

We went on to the bridal shop, with our bags of shoes, for our fitting. I learned then that we'd have a final small adjustment the day before the wedding.

I must say, the gowns were lovely, and seemed to be good for most of us. I also understood the need for the bras that had been selected. I'd been a little concerned, but needn't have been. Alice complained that they would be hot, but the rest of us were happy. Upon discovering they were full length, I understood why we'd stopped for the shoes first. While the gowns seemed to make me feel even taller, I thought it would also be good for hiding the breast forms. The fabric was Bella Satin, in two colors with an empire waist. The top was a wonderful burgundy, while the remainder was a pale rose cream that matched the shoes perfectly. The neck was beaded with what looked like garnets, but, I couldn't believe that.

There weren't any private changing areas, but, as I'd come prepared, nothing happened. I think I caught a look of surprise at one point from Stacy and Carol, but just smiled and kept going.

Louise and Karen were very stunning, and the rest all looked very nice as well. I was surprised I even looked okay in mine. They said my light tan and hair were perfect for the gown.

I thought mine fitted well when I tried it on, but the seamstress found several points to adjust.

"Stacy, would you mind taking a shot? I'd like to show Shelly what it looks like. I'm sure my description wouldn't do it justice."

"I'm not sure if we're supposed to, but I think it'd be okay in this case."

She took my camera, and took a picture. At the flash, the director of the studio came over.

"Please, no pictures now. After the wedding."

"André, Stevie wanted to show her spouse what it looked like, to allow for some coordination."

"I give a swatch of the fabric. No show this to anyone else, please."

"Of course not. I want most people to be surprised as much as the next. Do we get to see Carol's gown too?"

"Of course, she's being fitted now. You all must see this work of art."

He seemed proud of his work, and I was looking forward to seeing what he'd done for Carol. She didn't have an ounce of fat on her body, the way she burned it off with her constant motion. She'd been rushing from one to the other of us until just a few minutes ago.

I reluctantly changed out of the gown, and back into my skirt outfit.

I was just putting my shoes back on, when André came out; "Would the one of you called Stevie please come back."

I wondered what had happened, but as soon as I got there, I realized what it was; she couldn't hold still long enough for adjustments to be made.

"Make her settle down." André ordered.

I walked over and held out my hand. "Carol."

"I'm sorry, Stevie. I'm worried about what might go wrong."

"I'm here, Carol, and nothing will go wrong. We're all here to help you. Just stand still, and let the nice man do his job."

She giggled, but did settle down. A few minutes later, he was done, and we escorted Carol out so the others could see her. I was able to let go of her hand finally, and step back. The gown was beautiful, and she looked absolutely fabulous, as every bride should.

--- Continued

Part 4

Once we had all expressed our delight at the exquisite gown, Carol changed back into her suit and rejoined us. André came out, and provided each of us with swatches of fabric in the two colors of our gowns. "As this lovely lady reminded me, you may all want to coordinate to some extent with your escorts for the evening. Though, of course the men in the party will have cummerbunds that match the dress." I was intrigued that his English had improved so suddenly, now that the fitting was over, but figured the earlier bit was affected. There was still a bit of an accent, but it was minor.

While we returned to the hotel for a late luncheon, followed by the shower, I asked Carol, "What's for lunch?"

"I don't know, Stevie. Stacy wouldn't tell me."

"You mean you didn't plan this one?"

"Hey, I'm driving. Don't make me laugh!"

"You sure you didn't tell her to have it at exactly 12:47?" chimed in Samantha.

"All right, you guys. I didn't plan this event. It's all Stacy's doing. For all I know, this is in one of your rooms."

"It had better be Stevie's then, ours is a mess."

I looked over my shoulder from the front seat, and could see Karen nodding agreement. Okay, they're sharing a room. That makes sense, since they know each other. I'm glad there wasn't a fourth girl from out of town. She might have asked to share with me, and that might have been awkward.

We were NOT the first to arrive at the hotel. Somehow, Louise had arrived before us.

"Still can't get around, can you?"

"Hey, I'm not cruising around this town all day on a daily basis."

"But, you've lived here long enough."

I figured this was a long running bit, but figured I should interrupt before Carol started climbing the walls. I'd noticed how tense she'd been when she said Stacy had organized this event, and afterward in the car. "You spend a lot of time driving around town? What do you do, Louise?"

"I'm a cop, and on night shift right now. That's why I was running a little late getting to the shoe shop."

"Ahhh, and since you probably know every street like the back of your hand, you also know all the shortcuts."

She smiled, "Astute of you, but that's basically it, that and my ragging Carol that my little car can get places faster than she can in that thing she had to take out a mortgage to buy."

I laughed. "Right, mortgage? Who are we talking about here?"

"Hey, I'm here, and I'll have you know—"

I reached out and touched her elbow; luckily, Stacy and the others were just coming in. "Stacy and the others are here."

Carol immediately settled down, and led us towards Stacy.

"Hi, I think I hit every stop light between the bridal shop and here."

"That's for sure," Mary chimed in.

"We've got the Luxor room for the afternoon. It's up on the mezzanine level," Stacy said. "Do any of you need to get anything from your rooms?"

Both Karen and I indicated that we did.

"Okay, when you come back down on the elevator, you'll get off on the mezzanine and follow the signs to find the rest of us.

Karen and I headed off to the elevators, while the rest followed Stacy up the stairs.

As I was on a lower floor than Karen, "I'll wait for you on the mezzanine, if you want."

"Thanks. I hate having to enter rooms by myself." she responded quietly.

"Same here, that's why I offered. See you in a few."

I went down to my room, and left my coat while I picked up the gift I'd brought for Carol.

I wasn't long waiting for the elevator with Karen to arrive.

"Well, we're off to see the wizard," I quipped.

"I guess that's not a bad description of Carol at times."

I thought a minute. "You know, I'd not thought about it, but you're right."

We found the room with no problems, and could hear a murmur of voices coming from inside. As we entered, we saw a table with a few other wrapped items, so we added our packages to the collection.

They'd set up the room with a buffet along one wall, and a series of chairs and settees arranged in a circle with end tables between, to hold plates and beverages. The other girls were already taking advantage of the buffet; we joined them.

"I see you didn't get lost," Louise chimed in. "Carol assured me that we wouldn't have to send out a search party."

That generated a laugh all around.

We spent much of the next few hours snacking and chatting and generally either catching up, or getting to know each other. They were all really nice. Once they settled down and relaxed, I discovered that Karen and Alice both had quick minds. There was one point where they seemed to be adlibbing some sort of story. I guess they must be shy around strangers.

"Okay, time for us to embarrass Sis with our gifts."

I wondered at the embarrass bit, but the others all laughed, so I joined in.

"Stevie, you and Louise can bring the table over, since you're our amazons."

I got up, as did Louise. "No rest for the weary," she said.

"You shouldn't have grown so tall then, Louise," Stacy retorted.

I smiled at the banter. It did make sense for two of us to move it. When we got there, we discovered that she was joking with us, as it rolled quite easily after we flipped the stops.

"You could have moved it yourself, Stacy."

"I know, but it was more fun getting you two up."

I shook my head.

"Now, you all remembered to not put tags on the gifts, didn't you?" As we all nodded, she continued. "Good, now Carol has to try to guess who gave her each gift while she shows them to us."

"No."

"Oh, yes, big sister of mine. You should know your friends well enough to guess."

Luckily I had not sat back down as yet, so I joined her on a settee which seemed to settle her down.

"Here's one, Carol."

I saw that Stacy had picked mine. I hoped she picked it intentionally, and I hoped that Carol recalled that night back in college.

Carol took it hesitantly.

"Oh, don't worry, sis, it's all in fun. You do get to see the gift before guessing."

I reached out, and put a hand on her shoulder, and felt her relax a little. She carefully opened the paper, making an effort to not rip it anywhere. When she finally got the paper off, I guess I'd used more tape than was really needed, she opened the lid.

"Oh, STEVIE." She squealed, as she turned to me and hugged me tightly.

"How could you possibly have remembered?"

"It was a memorable evening."

"Are you going to show the rest of us?"

Carol turned red at this.

"Go ahead. It's okay," I said, as I gave her shoulder a squeeze.

She pulled out this bright cobalt blue baby doll. I'd thought it would bring out the color in her eyes, and was glad to see it really did.

Several of the others exclaimed at how the gown, what little there was of it, would look so good on her.

"So, how long ago did she tell you she wanted this, Stevie?" queried Louise.

I thought back. "That was what, sophomore year, Carol?"

She nodded in agreement.

"That's some memory you must have."

"She doesn't forget much. Make sure you NEVER make a mistake around her... She'll remember ALL of them, and trot them out when you least expect it." Carol rejoined.

I tried to look innocent, and I guess I mostly made it.

"Okay, Stevie, you're not that bad." she told me, then continued, "But, she does remember things." She turned back to me. "I remember things too, Stevie."

I think I must have turned bright red. I could feel myself flushing. What could she be referring to?

Carol laughed; "The stones in the collars of your gowns are her birthstones." I sighed, realizing it was innocent, and she laughed and seemed much more relaxed. I guess a little embarrassment on my part was worth it if she could settle down.

The rest of the gifts were similarly themed, and she guessed one wrong, before getting another right. Then, she guessed the last three correctly. I guess it was easier when there were fewer of us to pick.

After that we chatted a little longer. I excused myself to use the facilities, and Stacy got up to join me. When we got there, "Stevie, you are still a guy in there, aren't you?"

I looked at her. "I'm afraid so, more or less."

"Less? You didn't..." her voice trailed off.

"I'm not sure I understand."

"When we were fitting the underwear, and then the gowns later, nothing showed."

"It's just well hidden, that's all, Stacy. Now, if you don't mind, I DO need to use the facilities."

"Sorry, I just couldn't help the question."

We went into adjoining stalls, and took care of business. When she came out, she found me touching up my minimal makeup.

"Good Idea. I still can't get over how good you are."

"Thanks, but someone could walk in any time, Stacy. Please, can we talk later? I'd be glad to answer anything you need to know."

She agreed, and as we were leaving three of the others had decided that an afternoon of drinking needed to be relieved as well. I guess it doesn't matter what you're drinking, water, soda or even alcohol, it's liquid in and liquid needs out. The more you take in, the sooner you have to let it out, and this is true for guys or girls.

Things started wrapping up; Louise was yawning and apologizing at the same time, and Carol said, "Before you all go, I have something for each of you. Now, I don't want you to open it until you get home." She pulled out six small boxes from her oversized bag and handed one to each of us. "I think you'll understand the gift when you open it, but I want to extend the weekend just a little. I can hardly wait until we can get together again in a few weeks.

Things broke down at that time. Stacy took Mary and Alice home, and Louise left.

We helped Carol get her stuff to her car, and wished her goodbye.

"You seeing Jim tonight?" asked Samantha?

"Ummm. Yes."

"Well, get going girl. You don't want to keep him waiting. He might look for someone else."

"No, you..."

"Carol. She was just joking with you." I could see her looking a bit concerned still. "A guy that would make the call he made to me a few months ago, isn't one you'll scare away too easily. And, he certainly didn't sound like he would wander off."

"Oh, I know, but."

"Carol. This one will work. I'm sure."

She hugged me. "Oh, thank you Stevie, for everything!"

I hugged her in return. I was reminded again how much of a sister she was to me.

When she left, Samantha turned to me.

"I keep forgetting how nervous she is about her boyfriends. Thanks for defusing things there."

I really wasn't sure how to react to that. "Defuse? She'd have been fine in a few minutes."

"Maybe, or maybe she'd have worked herself up into a fit. There are times I should keep my mouth shut I guess."

"No, Sam, you just need to learn Stevie's lion tamer trick to fix things."

"Maybe, can you teach it?"

"I don't think so. 'cause I really don't do anything—really. As I've said before, I think it's just that I've known her so long."

"No, it's also as if she trusts you with everything," responded Mary. "I think she trusts your judgment more than she does her own, when it's something personal."

I wasn't sure what to say to that. We'd reached the elevators by then. "Do you want to join us for dinner in an hour or so?"

As I had no other plans, I readily accepted.

We went back to our rooms. I put the package out to pack before going to bed that night, and sat down to a quick call to Shelly and the kids.

Luckily, Shelly answered the phone first. She reminded me to be Steve for the call. I guess being Stevie all day, I'd forgotten. I hoped things would be okay when I got home tomorrow. I was supposed to get there a few hours before the kids got home from their after-school programs.

It WAS good talking to my family. And, I sat thinking about things for a few minutes before realizing I needed to get ready to go see Karen and Samantha.

Dinner was fun as we got to know each other better. Early on, we talked more of our memories of Carol when they'd all lived together in that apartment. Later, we talked more about ourselves. They both expressed their surprise that the kids wouldn't be coming out for the wedding as well and I explained they'd be home with one of the grandmothers. Once I explained that we were going to be spending the entire week here, they understood not pulling them all out of school. Samantha suggested that they might come out a few days early themselves, and suggested we get together. We ended up saying we'd play it by ear. One thing we all thought was amazing was that Carol had found such a lovely gown that looked good on all of us. I recalled how hard Shelly had worked at that very thing. She invited her bridesmaids to shop with her, and they'd wanted VERY different styles. The end result was very nice, but listening to Shelly and my mother-in-law, who'd gone with them, had made me glad I'd not been there. Though, it'd probably have been even more painful for me, not getting to try on the gowns, and just stand there looking appreciative. Today had been a LOT of fun.

I had a short night, since my wakeup was so early, but, the cab was there to take me to the airport. Stacy had offered to drop me off, but I'd refused.

Security wasn't much of an issue, with the letter I'd gotten from the supervisor at the beginning of the weekend, and I made it to the gate with time to spare. Auto check-in is such a nice feature. I got on the standby list early, and was lucky. We were off the ground on time, which surprised me. Most of the time when I fly the plane usually spends a quarter to half an hour sitting on the ground after it pulls back from the gate.

The flight itself was uneventful, and I went back to sleep. I woke up, when the flight attendant was asking me to bring my seat back upright. I pulled out my watch and looked at it. Ahh, just a little late. Still plenty of time to get home. I was feeling pretty good about the trip, when the pilot came on and announced we'd be landing at JFK instead of Newark, and that vouchers would be available to those needing to get to Newark. I asked a neighbor about this, and he responded that we'd been in a holding pattern for the last hour, and that an earlier announcement had said that a minor accident had temporarily closed Newark, and that they expected it to be opened up again within an hour or so.

I guess the change meant that Newark wouldn't be opening back up any time soon. Now, getting home in time would be a challenge. I worked things through; get to Penn Station, take the Air Train to Newark, pick up the car, drive home. Even with perfect connections I didn’t see how I’d make it before at least one of the kids got home. I thought about alternatives, like a taxi home directly, and that didn't solve the problem either. I worried about what would happen, and how to get around it. I finally came up with an idea that MIGHT work, if Shelly went for it, and didn't already have other plans.

After we hit the ground at JFK and were taxiing in, I gave Shelly a call. "I've got a problem, dear, we diverted to JFK."

--- Continued

Part 5

"Steve, I know the problem. You're on the ground now?"

"Yes, taxiing in right now."

"Okay, I knew you were going to be late, the closure's been all over the news. Okay, here's what you do. Get a taxi straight to the house. We'll pick your car up from the airport later. It's a mob scene now anyway. Go to the house, get changed and cleaned up. I'll take the kids out to ..." she went on to describe our favorite restaurant. It took a long time there, but the kids loved the food. I was to get another cab to the restaurant and she'd tell the kids I'd be joining them as soon as I could.

"Great minds think alike. I was going to suggest something like that, if you were willing."

"I didn't sign up for this, but we'll get through it. Just be safe, and join us."

"We're at the gate. I love you."

"See you at the restaurant."

Amazingly, things went as planned. As I walked in, they were just getting to the main course, and could see that she'd ordered something we'd been known to share before.

"Hi, Honey, Kids."

"Daddy." Our little one was out of her chair and hugging me in an instant. "We missed you, Daddy."

"I missed you too, Punkin."

"Daddy, Susie and Katie are both got their ears pierced yesterday."

"And you want yours pierced too, right?"

"Sorta," she replied.

I looked over at Shelly and she shook her head. I knew then, that there was something up and she'd tell me later.

"Okay, Punkin. If you decide to, just let us know. I think you're about the age your sister got her ears pierced."

"That's right, Daddy." Her sister piped up.

Dinner went well and Shelly seemed okay.

Later that evening, when we were  home and the kids off to bed; "Well, how was your trip, Steve?"

"I can see why Stacy and Jim begged me to do it. Carol was ready to bounce off the ceiling at every turn. I can only imagine how she was a few months ago."

"She's lucky to have a friend like you."

"Emphasis on friend. You're the only one I love."

"I know. I've come to understand how much over the past few months." She didn't say anything for a short while, and I became a little afraid. "No problems traveling?"

"It went well. I only had a slight problem with security the flight out. Thank you again for your quick thinking at this end."

"There was no way to predict that, though it could just have easily have been thunderstorms, although it's a bit early in the year for them."

I nodded. "That's what we based the travel plans on. I guess I should have taken the red-eye last night, after all."

"No, it all worked out, and the kids got a treat. I guess we do need to be more careful planning next month though. I'll not be able to cover for you. Let's take care of those nails now."

"I used the time in the taxi to file them down." I said with a sigh.

"They didn't cause you any trouble, did they?"

"No, like you said, that little bit of extension didn't get in my way."

"Now, tell me about the gowns."

I showed her the picture, "I brought back some pieces of the fabric, if you want to coordinate.

"That looks good. If I didn't know better, I'd have believed you were a girl."

That hurt, and I guess I must have reacted, or at least shown it in my eyes or something.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Steve. I didn't mean it like that. It's just that you didn't get to grow up as a girl, and you can't tell looking at the picture."

"Thanks, honey. I know you didn't mean to hurt me." It felt good, when she gave me a hug.

"Oh, Carol gave us all a little gift we were supposed to open when we got home. She said she wanted to make the weekend last a little longer."

I got up, and got the small package from my bag. I sat back down next to Shelly and opened the wrapping.

There was a small box, as expected. When I opened it, we both exclaimed.

"Oh, Steve, they're beautiful."

They were. They looked to have stones that matched the ones in the neck of the gowns. There was a large stone at the top and three silver dangles with another stone at the end of each.

"Oh, no," I said. Shelly looked at me.

"I bet she wants us to wear them for the wedding, since they match the gowns. I guess I'll just have to forget my pair."

"They do make clips that allow those without holes to wear pierced style earrings. You can try that."

I sighed, "Thanks, honey. I hope they work."

She asked some more questions about the trip, and laughed at Stacy's reaction to having seen me, and not seeing things. She commented that she'd probably have had a similar reaction, if she hadn't seen it being put together at the school, that first day.

We got ready for bed. I made sure the clothes in the suitcase stayed there; I didn't want to put any more strain on our relationship. I could take care of cleaning things in the morning.

The next few days were fairly normal. I found one of the clip devices, and tried it out with the earrings. I wasn't happy.

"Did you find any of the clip adaptors?" Shelly asked that evening.

"Yes, but I don't think they will work for the wedding."

"Let me see them."

I showed them to her, and she went over to her mirror and tried them on after taking out her earrings. I could see her shaking her head.

"No, you're right. With this style earring, I don't think they'll work at all."

"I'll just leave them at home."

"Not so fast. Let me think about it."

I let her think, but I was prepared to forget the earrings. I mean, get my ears pierced? Not likely! It'd make things even more difficult on the return. I mean, as things stood now, nothing was permanent. My eyebrows had been thinned somewhat, and arched a little, but mostly they just looked a bit neater. The weekend had felt good. I'd not really wanted to change back, but for Shelly and the kids, I'd do anything.

On Saturday, we had to take Hope to the mall to get new clothes for the summer. Henry needed his too, but, he could wait a little. Hope had little warm weather clothing that fitted her. We'd learned that taking more than one kid at a time just didn't work, so Henry would be staying at home with Vicky. We were lucky she was such a responsible kid. I figured that, as usual, I was just along to push carts and lug the bags.

We started the trip, and found new sneakers. As we went by one of the earring kiosks, I could see Hope looking. "You looking for getting your ears pierced, Punkin?"

She jumped.

I knelt down, and saw Shelly come to stand behind her. "What's the problem, Punkin?"

"I'm scared it might hurt, Daddy."

I looked at Shelly. "Well, Vicky did say it hurt a little, but it wasn't too bad. No worse than getting a shot." Then, I recalled that this was the kid that almost had to be held down to get her shots. "It's okay, honey. I understand."

"Hope, dear, would it help if someone else got their ears pierced with you?"

"Maybe, mommy."

"How about if you picked out the starter posts for both of you?"

Where is she going with this? Is there another friend that needs her ears pierced?

"That'd be okay, Mommy, if you held my hand."

"Would you like to do it now, honey?"

I looked at Shelly, over Hope's head. Who does she have in mind? Is she going to get another hole?

"How about daddy? You wanna give him earrings?" I can't believe my ears. Are you serious, honey?

"You're silly, Mommy."

"Maybe, but would Daddy be okay?"

"I get to pick out his posts?"

"Uhuh. Do you want to?"

"Okay, Mommy."

"Let's go find some nice ones then. Even nicer than they have here."

She took us to a nice store, and let Hope pick things out. "Sorry, I didn't have time to tell you, Steve. I really wasn't sure, until she looked so longingly at them. Are you okay?"

"I'll survive, I'm sure." She's some woman. I don't believe she's doing this. "It may take some explanations, but I can manage. I can even let the holes grow closed again once things settle down."

She looked at me, and nodded.

"Well, have you picked out two pair, dear?"

"Yes, Mommy. I got the flowers, and Daddy gets the ball that matches his ring."

Wow, she'd picked out a simple ball.

"That's very good, dear."

While she choose our earrings, Shelly explained what needed to happen to the lady behind the counter, and why.

"That's very kind of you, sir. Not many dads would do that for their daughters." She then turned to Hope. "Now, since there are two of you, we can either do one of you at a time, and do both ears, or do one ear at a time and both of you together, do you have a preference?"

"If Mommy and Daddy hold my hand, I wanna do it with Daddy."

"Of course we'll hold your hand, Punkin. Do you mind if I close my eyes?"

"You're scared too, Daddy?"

"A little bit, maybe. But, if I don't know when it'll happen, maybe it'll be over before I get to worried."

"I'll close my eyes too, Daddy."

She held my hand, and Shelly took her other hand. If the tightness of the grip was any indication, she was really scared.

"Now, we'll rub this bit on the ear first, which will reduce the pain and make sure everything is clean, then you'll hear a bit of a popping sound and it'll be done." They rubbed both of our ears, and I did close my eyes—in case Hope peeked.

Pop. "Eyow!" yelped Hope.

"Are you okay?" we all asked.

"Ummm. I guess so. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but you'll hold my hand again, won't you Mommy and Daddy?"

"Yes, dear," we both said.

The second ear was a bit worse than the first, probably because I anticipated it, but Hope didn't even yelp this time.

"You look very pretty in your new earrings, Hope."

"You do too, Daddy."

"Thank you."

The saleswoman then explained to Shelly and me how we'd have to care for our ears until they healed. She also warned Hope and me that it might be a bit uncomfortable for the next few days, but that after a few days, we would probably forget they were there.

Hope was a very happy little girl, the rest of the morning, though Shelly had to remind her to not play with her ears. I caught myself going to play with mine a time or two as well, and once Shelly caught me and laughed. My first concern was Henry's reaction, when we got home. As it turned out, he didn't even notice it, though Vicky did.

"How come you have earrings, Daddy?"

"Your mom's idea. I had nothing to do with it. But, she thought if I got mine pierced at the same time, Hope would get over her fear of needles enough to get hers done. It seems to have worked."

"I know, she came running in to show me. You're an amazing dad, Daddy. I don't think any of my friend's dads would have done it for them."

I didn't know how to handle the compliment really. "It wasn't much, really. I'd do as much for you or your brother, if you needed it."

"I know, Daddy." She gave me a hug then, which I carefully returned. Getting hugs from my teen was a rare thing.

That night, while getting ready for bed, "Thank you, Shelly. I'm sure we could have found another way for Hope to get her ears pierced."

"I know, Steve, but this solves the wedding problem too. It's not as if you'll be the only person with pierced ears around."

"I'm just surprised you were willing to have the constant reminder."

"I'm getting used to the idea, I guess. Not necessarily totally thrilled, mind you. But, I've seen that you are still the same person I love and married, even though you're different than I thought."

We had a nice cuddle, before falling asleep that night. I was a bit restless, as sleeping on my side poked me with the posts, but I did settle down.

One thing bothered me about the piercing. With only a bit over three weeks to heal, would I be able to switch to the special earrings? I'd not thought about it when the lady was describing care and cleaning and such, but I'd remembered the four plus weeks she'd recommended before removing them. Well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I can still say I forgot them.

I think most folks didn't notice the earrings, to be honest. I did get a few questions, but telling the story about helping Hope got me kind and approving remarks from most of the women and the men mostly gave me strange looks or said the she should have waited until she could do it herself. I just nodded and let the latter comments float by. Most memorable was one of the mothers when I dropped Henry and Hope at school. She said she wished her husband would do things like that for their kids. I wasn't sure how to react to that.

I shouldn't have worried about Henry's reaction, when he noticed. I was surprised, to be honest.

"Hey cool, Dad. You gunna to get a BIG diamond studs in both ears?" He went on to explain that one of his sports heroes had that kind of earrings.

"I doubt it, sport. We'll just have to see."

The time before we headed to California went quickly. It always seems like suddenly it's time for vacation, and you've not packed. I was curious what Shelly was going to wear to the wedding, but she just said, "you'll see," whenever I asked.

Finally, it was the night before we were to leave. I'd repacked my small suitcase, and Shelly had one to check.

"You remembered your earrings, didn't you Steve?"

"Yes, but it'll still be too soon."

"We'll look at things, as we get closer. I also went over your wardrobe. We'll have to do some shopping for you out there. You certainly can't wear the same thing EVERY day."

I laughed.

"And we'll need to pick up another bag for you too. You'll have more to bring back than you're taking." At my blank look she added, "Oh, I wasn't talking about buying THAT much, but you do have a nice gown to bring back as well." Light dawned.

"Of course, I'd completely forgotten that. If I'd been a groomsman, we'd just be returning the tux following the rental."

"Yes, being a woman IS more expensive." She sounded a little strange at that, but I wasn't going to push.

After we got the kids off to school, I got changed while Shelly called Mom and reminded her where our contact numbers could be found and how to reach us at the hotel.

Security at the airport was interesting again, but when I showed the letter from the previous trip, they just called the supervisor out and he recognized me, and that took care of that.

Shelly rented the car in her name, and listed me as an alternate driver.

The clerk did a double take on my name. "Are you sure this is your license, miss?"

"Yes."

"You may not have noticed it, but it lists you as male. You might want to get that fixed when you get home."

"Thank you for pointing that out."

"Quite all right." He turned back to Shelly, and continued. "Your travel profile indicates that you prefer economy cars, will that be sufficient on this trip, or would you like to upgrade?"

Shelly took an upgrade to give us a big enough car to carry our gowns for the wedding and not get them messed up, and allow us to take two others with us, if needed. The GPS was helpful, and we made it to the hotel in good time. There was no issue checking in.

"Well, I'm impressed with your performance. The clerk downstairs thought we were sisters, I'm sure, and I almost lost it with the rental car clerk. How did you just stand there so smoothly and agree with him?"

"No reason to correct him, really. It's reassuring, in a way."

"You're still nervous, aren't you?" At my nod, "Oh, Steve – I mean Stevie. After your fitting trip, I don't see why."

"I guess it's that when I look in the mirror, I still see me."

"I've come to learn that you ARE still the same person, though, the surface is more different than you seem to believe. It will take me a little to get used to it."

"I'm sorry."

"No, we'll manage the week. I just have to remember to call you Stevie." I nodded.

"I hope you're not too bothered going around with me though."

"No. I'm sure most people will assume we're just two friends—or maybe sisters—if they see our names."

"If you're sure."

"Yes, now let's freshen from our trip and rest a bit before dinner."

Dinner was nice, though I noticed Shelly glancing at me occasionally. Oh, I don't mean the normal looks we give each other when talking, but more glances when I happened to be looking elsewhere. It was as if she was looking for something. Maybe she'd been doing it on the trip out here, but I'd not noticed. I asked her about it later that evening; "You were really watching me, honey. Is something wrong?"

--- Continued

Part 6

"Sorry. It's just that you still seem the same, and yet different. You still look, when an attractive lady walks by, but you ignore the waiters."

I smiled. "Just because I'm wearing a skirt, do you expect my preferences to change?"

"I'm not sure, but, I guess I was worried about it more than I thought." We talked some more about perception and ourselves, and since it had been a long day, went to bed early.

The next day was spent in a combination of sight-seeing and shopping. One thing Shelly insisted I get was a new outfit for the rehearsal dinner, saying there was no way she would let me wear the same thing I'd worn the last time I'd been out here. Things continued, with me as Steve in the room, and Stevie the rest of the day.

Friday morning, after we'd had breakfast and were heading out to get the final fitting of my gown, who was coming in the door but Karen and Samantha.

"Come on, I want you to meet two of the other bridesmaids." And I took off across the lobby with Shelly in tow.

"I guess you two could have cut it a little closer."

"Stevie. Nice to see you, too. We didn't have time to get here yesterday," Samantha returned

"I know. You said last month you'd try to get her early, but were not sure.  That's why we agreed to play it by ear. By the way, this lovely lady is my spouse, Shelly. Shelly, this is Samantha, and the one with the room keys is Karen."

"Nice to meet the two of you."

"You as well," Karen replied. "Looks like you're heading out."

"We were going out for the final fitting of my gown. Do you want us to wait for you?" I offered.

They exchanged glances. "If it'll not be too much trouble."

Samantha continued. "I can take our bag up, if you three want to wait for me."

We agreed, and she was off.

"Shelly, Karen and Samantha were the two that shared the apartment with Carol while she was in business school.

"Oh, right. I recall you mentioning them now."

"Yes, we've known her almost as long as her conscience here."

Shelly shook her head, and then nodded. "Sorry, didn't get the reference there. Over the years, I've gotten the impression that Stevie acts almost as half of Carol's brain at times. Or, at least the person she talks to about personal things."

"I knew she did, when we were rooming. You mean that since you got together that's continued?"

"We were married the summer before you all got together." Shelly replied, which got a surprised look from Karen. "Would you believe Carol called Stevie, before her own mother?"

"Now that you mention it, I guess I'm not really. I recall Stacy retelling the story about nobody sitting in the dorm room while Carol was talking to a potential boy friend."

"For years, when he called her, Stevie would say 'Hi Carol, this is Nobody.' That did stop eventually."

I'd frozen at the he, and noticed Karen give me a hard look, but she didn't say anything. I guess she heard the he too. Maybe not. Maybe I'm just being over sensitive. Shelly's been amazing with the pronouns so far this trip.

"Hi, sorry it took so long," said Samantha, as she walked up to join us.

Hoping to avoid more embarrassment, "Well, let's be off."

We headed out to the car and were off to the shop. André was there waiting for us.

"Hello, lovely ladies. Wait, there are four of you. One of you was not here before. I have not a dress."

"Sorry, André, this is my spouse. She's not in the wedding party."

"Ahhh, is okay then. I allow spouse to see. You are one that had picture, yes?" It seemed that André had recovered his fancy foreign accent.

I nodded. "Lovely spouse hopefully has a gown to match." Turning to Shelly, "I would have been pleased to have designed a gown for one such as you."

I thought he was laying it on a little thick, but didn't really disagree.

"That's alright. I have something to wear tomorrow. The pieces of fabric you sent were very helpful."

"You are so kind. Perhaps one day you let André design a gown for you?"

"Perhaps."

She seemed to be enjoying the attention, though this did worry me a little. Maybe she'll decide I'm not 'man' enough for her when this is done. Steve will have to work. Life without Shelly, I don't want to think about that now, 'cause it probably isn't worth much.

"You not happy for her? I design dress for you too. Most beautiful dress."

I smiled. "Thank you, André. We may take you up on some of that one day."

The rest of the fitting was quick. Only the most minor adjustments were needed. I was surprised that mine needed to be taken in more. I guess I'd lost a bit more in the past month. I wonder how much it is in all so far. I'm still nowhere near skin in bones, or as lean as when we were married.

As we were collecting things to leave, "Why don't we all do lunch, our treat?" Samantha said.

"Lunch would be good about now." She turned to André. "Monsieur, do you know of a nice quiet place where four ladies could get a light lunch?"

"Ah, yes." He quickly gave her directions to a nearby place, and we were off. It was nice, and quiet. I had a delicious salad, as did the others.

"Excuse me for asking something personal, but, I'm a little confused," started Samantha.

Shelly and I looked at each other.

"What's the problem?"

"This morning, you said you'd been married the summer before we started grad school. However, I didn't think anywhere allowed same sex marriages back then. Then, you also referred to Stevie as he once." Shelly froze at that remark. "And, we both thought that Carol's friend was a guy. Then add in that you recently getting your ears pierced. And, something didn't add up. I know it's really none of our business, but we're really curious."

Shelly and I looked at each other. I could see the question in her eyes, but didn't see it made much difference. "Umm. I thought I was a guy back then."

They didn't look surprised.

"That explains why Shelly has an engagement ring, but you only have a wedding band."

"I'm sorry, honey. I never thought about that," Shelly said.

"I didn't either. You two don't mind?"

"Not at all. It's nice to meet another couple. We were afraid we'd have to keep it quiet."

"You ARE a couple then?"

They both smiled and clasped hands.

"Women can be couples too, as the two of you amply prove."

I doubt they noticed, but I saw Shelly blink at that again. It made me all the more sure that STEVE would have to be the one around when this was all over. It was a wonderful dream come true, but, it had to end. Well, I'd best make the most of it while it lasted.

"Shelly's the most important person in my life, and always has been. Nothing's changed that."

I was looking at Shelly when I said that, so I don't know why Samantha suddenly said, "Ouch," but I did turn.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I was reminded to chew my foot, since I appear to have shoved it in."

"No, you've not been shoving your foot," Shelly replied.

"I think you may be working on a wrong impression though. The only reason I'm dressed like this, is because Carol needed me to be a bridesmaid." It was hard to say, but I had to do it.

"What? You can't be serious."

"I'd still be Steve if she'd not asked me to be a bridesmaid, and except for a little time in the past few months, the world has still only seen Steve."

"I can't believe Carol would… Ouch." Samantha stopped what she'd been about to ask.

Shelly looked at her watch. "We need to get you all back to get changed before the rehearsal. Stevie's got something else planned for later. I don't know about you two."

"We do, too."

"Then, we'd best be going."

We were all pretty quiet in the car back to the hotel.

Once we were back at the hotel, Karen stopped us. "I'm sorry for that back at the restaurant. It's really not our business. We're all Carol's friends. There's no way either of us would intentionally hurt either of you."

"Thank you, Karen. It's not the easiest thing to talk about."

With that, we returned to our respective rooms.

"Stevie, I'm sorry about that slip earlier."

"It's okay. I didn't have to admit anything, and I made my own slip. I guess it's only to be expected. I just hope we can keep things to a minimum, so you're not put in that kind of position."

"It's both of us, honey. Despite appearances, I still love my husband." I lurched. "I know what you said, and it may be right. It doesn't make me forget all the years. I will try to get things right. I don't want you hurt either."

She hugged me then, and I returned it. She'd not hugged Stevie very much, and I know I missed it. "I love you."

"I love you too, but it still feels funny with you like this. You poke out differently."

That surprised a little laugh from me. "Okay, I see that."

"Now, you'd best get changed, dear. You don't want to keep them waiting."

As she was helping me into my dress, "You know, in a way, it's a good thing they know some of it. Maybe they'll help cover any other mistakes. Also, we won't be the only all girl couple there."

"That's one of the things I love about you, you're able to find a silver lining in anything."

"Now, learn what you need to learn and I'll see you at the dinner."

I left her to get ready, and joined Karen and Samantha in the lobby.

"The cab should be here shortly." Samantha said.

I nodded. "Sorry I'm a bit slow getting down here. We had to talk some."

"We're on time. Don't worry. Hopefully things are okay."

I nodded. "Thank you both for being understanding and not pushing."

The cab arrived then, and we were off.

I was a little surprised at the size of the church. Well, not really. Considering the size of the wedding party, I guess it had to be big. Looking around, I could see that most of the party had to be here. I had no clue about the guys. Ahhh, Louise was here too. I walked over.

"Hi, Louise, you on day shift this week?"

"No, actually today and tomorrow are my weekend, and I go on evening shift on Sunday."

"That's certainly convenient."

She laughed. "It took some trading and such a few months ago, and I had to do some extra shifts, but I couldn't miss this."

"I know the feeling. It's hard to believe today that I almost turned down Carol when she first asked."

"What?"

I realized I'd put my foot in it—almost—now to see if I could climb out. "There were some issues. It took calls from both Stacy and Jim to convince me that something needed to be done. As is, the kids are still at home, and couldn't come."

"Ahh, yes, school is still in session. You said one of yours was in high school, didn't you?"

"Not exactly, but as I think back, that is a logical deduction. Our oldest, is in high school."

At that point, we were all called together by an older man.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. We're all here to go through tomorrow's service so that Carol and Jim can be joined in the bounds of holy matrimony. If any of you are here for some other event, you probably want to go next door, to the parish house."

The last drew laughter from most of us, as I suspect was his intention.

"To start the proceedings, we will show you where you'll arrive to make your final preparations and then return here and we'll get on with the rehearsal. James, would you take the men while Pam shows the ladies?"

We followed the lady named Pam.

"The guys will be entering the building from the side, and have been directed to arrive a half hour after you all need to be here," she started. "We can't have them getting a peek at Carol too early, can we?" she smiled.

"Here's the room where you'll be able to get ready and make any last minute preparations. Carol, as we discussed, you can see the raised area in that corner. You can make sure your train is situated well before returning to the narthex. Besides Stacy, which of these other ladies will also help you navigate there, without getting the train dirty?"

"Stevie, I want you to help with that."

I nodded. "Just show me what you want me to do."

"I'll be here tomorrow, to show you. We'll return to the narthex now, using the path you ladies will follow. Tomorrow, you want to go in the order you will go down the aisle, except for the two helping Carol." She turned to Stacy and me. "Once you get to the narthex, you can put the train down, and not worry about it. The carpet will ensure things are good."

"Excuse me," interrupted Louise, "there wasn't a carpet there when we left."

"No, it will be put down tomorrow while you are getting ready. No sense in getting it dirty now, is there?"

We all acknowledged this, and she led us to the narthex. I noticed a place or two, where the turns seemed like they might give issues. Arriving in the narthex, we found the guys already back."

"Welcome back ladies. I hope you don't find the trip too twisty, but when the church was built, well, things were a little different, I understand. No, and before you ask, I was NOT around back then."

More laughter accompanied his remark. I think I like this pastor. One of his helpers, James I think he said, leaned over and said something to him.

"Ah, my young assistant here has prodded my aging mind. I should have introduced myself. I'm the Right Reverend Doctor William Witherspoon, and yes, that's quite a mouthful. Feel free to call me Reverend Willie, most folks do. I'll answer to a lot of other things too, but, please don't call me late to dinner, which reminds me that we DO need to get moving here.'

He took a pause then turned to Carol. "Now, Carol, I need you to pair these people up. Your sister is the maid of honor, right?"

"Yes, and I want Stevie to be my matron of honor."

I looked at her sharply.

"I take it that you are the lady in question and she decided to spring this on you just now?" the pastor queried.

"Yes, Reverend, but I'll do it, though I ought to do something else." I looked at her sternly.

"I'm sorry, Stevie. I was afraid you'd turn me down if I actually asked you."

I sighed. "I don't know, but we need to keep going. Tell me what to do, Reverend."

He nodded. "Thank you, my dear."

"Well, Carol would you and Jim please pair up the remaining ladies with their escorts."

This was quickly accomplished, and I realized that there was just one guy, besides Jim and Carol's dad remaining. Somehow, I'd not noticed that we weren't even. Now, I was wondering what was going on. Carol came over to stand with me, and whispered.

"I'm sorry, Stevie. I really wanted you to do this, and with all the difficulty getting you here, I was afraid."

I just turned, and hugged her. "You could have told me once I was here for the fitting, but I do understand."

The pastor continued explaining what the others would be doing. Jim's brother—his best man—would first escort their mother in, with his father trailing, and Carol's cousin would be escorting her mother in. They would both be returning to the narthex after they escorted the mothers.

"The music will change to Canon in D by Pachelbel at this point."

I heard Jim saying "I wanted the Ride of the Valkyries, but Carol overrode me." I had to hold on to Carol at that. "Ignore it," I whispered.

"As I was saying, the music will change then, and you will start coming in. I want you to maintain your spacing. When the first couple gets twenty pews in, the next should start. You two ladies and Jim's brother will wait here, while Carol and her father remain behind the room partition that will be in place tomorrow, where Pam's standing. Go on over now. She'll show you where to wait."

"Now, Frank, you will first escort Stacy to her position and then return for, Stevie is it?" At my nod, "After escorting her to her position, you will take your station next to your brother. Don't forget the ring, by the way. But, if you do, I've got a nice plastic one that can be used temporarily."

We all laughed again.

He raised his voice just a little. "Now, when Frank and Stevie head down the aisle, the door will be closed, and Carol and her father will come to this point. Pam and James will be here to open it again, at the right place in the music. You will recognize it."

He walked over to Carol and her father. "Now sir, you do need to be careful to keep an even pace, not too fast, and not too slow. I'll have James walk down with the two of you tonight, so you can catch on. You don't want to trip your daughter, you know." He appeared to chuckle at this.

"Okay, now, I'll let James and Pam direct you when to go down the aisle and I'll meet you at the front. Jim, let's head to the chancel now."

I suspected he was telling Jim how he would know when to come out of the side door, to stand at the front and wait for everything to happen. I could remember how nervous I was waiting for Shelly, and we'd only had two bridesmaids and groomsmen. I should probably express my sympathy for him this evening.

James directed Frank and Carol's cousin when to walk down, and he and Pam played the parts of the mothers and father. Then, they all returned, and we got started. When it was my turn at the door, waiting for Frank to return, I saw how long the nave was and I understood why it had taken so long. Jim is really going to be nervous.

Finally, Frank was there and he escorted me down the aisle.

"Jim's going to sweat bullets waiting for this thing to get over."

"I suspect you're right. I don't know that Carol will be much better."

He chuckled. "To hear Jim talk, nothing fazes her most of the time."

I laughed. "Just watch tomorrow."

"I will."

We reached the chancel, and the pastor directed me to where I would stand.

"As you can see, you're all facing towards the center now. Once this young lady is in her position and Frank moves to his, I want you to all turn towards the doors."

He had Frank walk over to his position beside Jim, and we all turned.

"Well done. Now, the door will open, and Carol and her father will come in."

They did, and walked down the aisle with James. The pastor had them stop before coming all the way in to the chancel, with the rest of us. He then explained that he would ask a question which Carol's father would answer, before taking her in to stand next to Jim, and then retreat to sit next to his wife. At this point, we would all turn, to face Reverend Willie and the service would move forward. I discovered that Stacy would hold Carol's bouquet, and I would be responsible with carrying and producing, when requested, the ring that she would give Jim.

He then walked us through the service, so we knew when to kneel, turn and such. I learned when I'd step forward to hand Carol the ring, and Stacy when to receive and return the bouquet. We also learned how to move the train, if needed when they turned to face the congregation.

Finally, Reverend Willie talked us through the recessional, Spring from Four Seasons by Vivaldi.

"Of course, Carol and Jim will exit first. Do be careful to not step on her train, Jim. And don't go too fast. The door to the narthex is not the one you're supposed to carry her through."

It seemed that most of us thought this was a good joke.

"Now, Frank, I want you to escort the matron of honor out, and then come back for the maid of honor. Then, you will wait by the door, while the remaining couples exit, then you and Mark, I believe it is, will come back and get the mothers in the reverse order you entered."

He looked at us all. "James and Pam will be there to direct you to a room where you can wait for the crowd to get outside. Once they move, the last few staged photos of the bride and groom together with the rest of you will be made. Then, you will all exit to the waiting limos to join the guests at the banquet hall."

We then practiced the exit, except for Jim and Carol that is, they just walked to the back when Frank was escorting me back. The last bit of the rehearsal went as well as the first bit.

While we were waiting for the rest to get back, Carol said "Stevie, you'll be going to the reception with Jim and me, and Stacy will be taking Karen and Samantha."

"Maybe we'll get to talk a little on the way," Jim interposed.

"That'd be nice. It's good to finally get to meet you. Carol seems to think the sun rises and sets based on your actions."

"I dunno. She's got a good friend named Steve that's supposed to be here for the wedding. She talks about him all the time, like they've been friends since the world was formed or something. Would you believe the guy didn't want to do something she asked?"

I looked at Carol, and she shook her head.

"Yes, I actually do believe it."

"Stevie knows Steve too, Jim."

"Well, I want to meet this guy. I don't see how he could be as good a friend as you claim, and not be willing to be here."
 
"Umm. I'll tell you about Steve, in the car Jim." I said resignedly, then leaned over to whisper in her ear. "You'd best drive then."

She nodded agreement.

By then, the rest had all joined us.

"Your receiving line will be at the reception, so we'll set it up here, so you know your places once you get there."

He had us all lined up. The last couple were first, and it went up to Stacy, then me, then Jim and finally Carol. I was a little surprised that their parents came before Stacy and me in the line, but I figured Carol had done that on purpose.

"That all went well. I want to thank you all for being so attentive. I'll see you in an hour at the dinner."

James piped up. "Yes, Reverend Willie was serious about not being called late for dinner."

"Well, of course."

His response showed it was a longstanding joke between them. It also made me think that maybe he'd not actually forgotten to introduce himself. Maybe that was just another planned ice breaker to help nervous people get over their nervousness and concentrate.

We all sorted ourselves out in cars.

"I'll drive, Jim. That way you and Stevie can talk."

"If you want, love."

We climbed into the car, I took the seat behind Carol, and Jim sat beside her in front. We got on the road.

"So, what's so special about this Steve and why isn't he here. The way Carol talks, I was surprised she didn't ask me to make him one of my groomsmen. I even kept a spot open for him. That's why Frank has to escort both you and Stacy."

I nodded. "Carol, you probably should have told Jim about Steve."

"I know, but I didn't know how, Stevie."

"What is it about this fellow?"

I lowered my voice to my more normal speaking range, "Jim, I'm Steve."

--- Continued

Part 7

"No way! There is absolutely NO WAY you're a guy."

I was quiet then. "No, you're both pulling a fast one on me, aren't you? Tell me you're Steve's wife, right?"

"No," I said quietly. "My wife, Shelly, will be at the dinner tonight."

"You're telling me you're a guy, and your wife's willing for you to dress like this?"

"Not exactly."

"Well, I'm not sure what you mean."

He was sounding more confused than angry, which was good—I think.

"Carol, maybe you could find some quiet spot we can stop and talk for a little while."

"I think that would be a good idea," Jim agreed.

"I'm sorry, Jim. I wanted to tell you."

"Just find a place to stop so we can talk, please." I reached forward, and put my hand on Carol's shoulder, and could feel how tense she was. "Relax, Carol, you need to get us somewhere safely." I could feel her relaxing under my hand."

"Damn," Jim said. "How did you do that?"

"I don't know, Jim. But it's worked since we were in college together."

Carol eventually found a park where we could stop. We all got out, and found a place we could sit. Luckily she had some towels in the trunk, or our dresses would have been messed up a lot. I sat close enough to touch Carol, but didn't.

"Now, Carol, don't tell me that asking Steve to be one of your bridesmaids was the thing he wouldn't do."

She nodded.

"How could you ask a guy, no matter HOW good a friend, to do that?" His voice was getting stronger as he went.

"Jim, she had reason to believe I might accept, I guess."

"What, you went in drag once to a Halloween party? That's not a reason."

"No, Jim, that's not it," Carol began.

"Be quiet. I thought I knew you!"

Things were going bad quickly, so I thought I'd better divert his anger to me.

"Jim, don't blame Carol. I'm the strange one."

"Are you a drag queen or something? I thought you were married!"

"Jim, please listen for a few minutes, and let me try to explain. Then, if you want, I can get VERY SICK, and miss the wedding."

Carol flinched at the last statement.

"Carol, it's HIS wedding, too. He has a say."

She settled down. "Sorry, Stevie. I was selfish."

"A little maybe. Now relax and be quiet." I took a deep breath. "Okay, Jim. The thing is, I'm what is called a transsexual. I'm a girl, who was born in a guy's body. I thought I was crazy growing up, well, once I was old enough to know I was different.  Eventually talking with a shrink, I learned that rather than crazy, there's a name for it and there ARE others. Carol's known this for a long time. I told her, before I told my wife, because as a friend, I thought she might feel less threatened by this. No, that's not quite it. I actually showed up to visit her as Stevie. I was going to tell Shelly when I came home, but life got in the way. Shelly found out when you and Stacy almost forced me to agree to do what Carol was asking, to be one of her bridesmaids." I took another deep breath. "I've worked hard to be able to pass as a woman, and had a wonderful time. It's been living a dream. When I go home though, Steve will return, and that will see the end of this." I indicated myself. "Now, ask any questions you have, and know that Carol wasn't wrong to ask me."

He was quiet a while, and then asked a lot of questions. Finally, he turned to Carol who was tightly holding my hand. "Honey, you could have trusted me."

"It wasn't my secret to share, Jim." She gulped.

"No, I guess it wasn't. But, it's a secret that almost made me want to walk away, despite how much I love you."

"Jim, shall I go away so the two of you can talk?" I asked.

"No, it's okay."

"Do you want me to catch a ride back to the hotel and leave?"

He took a deep breath. "Not yet. I want to talk to your wife first."

I nodded, "Fair enough. Please don't embarrass her in front of everyone tonight."

"Of course not. While you two have kept things from me, and almost everyone else, I suspect she's more of an accessory. And from what you've said, not a wholly willing one."

"No, you're right there, Jim."

"Come on, Carol. Let's get to our party." As he pulled her up, I quietly let go of her hand.

She started shaking, and said, "I'm sorry, Jim."

"Something will be worked out, honey. You sit in back with your safety blanket and pull yourself back together."

We got in the car, and Jim drove us the rest of the way to the restaurant.

Carol was a real basket case at the beginning of the ride. She kept apologizing to both of us. I held her hand, and told her things would be all right. I think she half believed it. I think she was also worried that Jim might call everything off, despite his obvious, to me anyway, love for her. By the time we got there, she was doing better, but her makeup was in shambles.

"Jim, can we go in a side door and get to a bathroom? It wouldn't do for the bride to look like this the night before her wedding."

"No, it wouldn't and yes there actually is a back way in. Thanks for mentioning it. I'm afraid that issue would never have occurred to me."

He took us to a back door, and showed us to a restroom. "It's not as nice as the ones out where the customers go, but it's probably more private."

"Come on, Carol, let's get you ready for your public."

While she was better, she wasn't doing well. I pulled out my cleanser and cleaned her eyes. "You have your makeup?"

"Ummm. Yes." She just handed me her bag. I found enough stuff. Now, I was pretty good at my look, but could I manage something for her? Well, nothing like trying. A little liquid tears helped with the red. Then, talking to her all the time, I was able to get some liner and shadow on.

"Can you do your own mascara?'

"I think so, Stevie. What would I do without you?"

"You've got Jim. Hold on to him. I'm not really that important."

"But."

"No buts; he's a wonderful guy. You were right when you told me that. I hope you discover how right you really were, and you have as happy a marriage as Shelly and I have had." I choked a bit at the end, wondering if I'd be able to turn back into the man she wanted. "Now, let's get out and go in with Jim."

As we came out, Jim was standing there, and he gave me a strange look. He must have heard most of what we said. Well, I was being honest in there. I just hope Carol doesn't muck it up.

"Well, ladies, shall we? I believe we need to go meet the rest of the people. And, I do want to meet Stevie's wi—spouse."

"Thanks, Jim."

"Don't thank me. I don't want to cause disruptions any more than either of you do. I still plan on marrying this girl tomorrow," he said with a smile.

"How did you know this back entrance?"

He laughed. "I worked here when I was in high school. My uncle owns the place."

"Convenient."

"Actually, I think he might have come after me if I'd arranged for this to be anywhere else."

I laughed. "Families can be close. I hope it's good."

"Oh, I can assure you that the food will be very good."

"Uh, oh."

"What?"

"Well, the gowns are fairly carefully fitted. If the food's THAT good, I'll be tempted to mess up my diet and it might not fit."

He roared at that. "Just go for a looooong walk tomorrow."  I thought the breaking of the stress was making things sound funnier than they really were.

I nodded. "If I get up early, and walk to the church..." I started to say.

"Stevie! You'll do no such thing." Carol laughed at me.

"No. I don't think it's that critical, but getting you to finally laugh, was."

"I have been kinda down, haven't I."

"Honey, that's putting it mildly. But things will work out. Now, through this door we'll find our friends."

We came out and it was a minute or so before anyone noticed us. I was looking around for Shelly, and saw her across the room, chatting with Karen.

"Shelly's here. May I tell her that we had a long talk?" I really need to talk with her.  She needs to know what's happening.

"Of course. I'm thinking the two of you have enough issues. Carol and I will be okay for a few minutes, I'm sure."

I nodded agreement.  It felt like things were beginning to unravel.  The walls I’d erected, around my self so I could help Carol, felt like they were eroding.  I wasn’t sure how much more I could take tonight. I made my way across the room to Shelly, greeting the other members of the party when I recognized them. Eventually I got to where they were standing, and Samantha came up with a glass of wine.

"You must have taken the scenic route, with the love birds," she quipped.

"Sorta. We actually did find a park to stop and chat in. It was kinda important for Jim and I to get to know each other."

Karen and Samantha laughed at that. "If she calls you as often as she did when we were in school, I'd say so. Hadn't you ever met him before?"

"We talked on the phone once," I said, looking at Shelly. "You haven't seen the facilities, have you? Jim brought us in the back way since we were running a bit late."

"That explains it. I'll see you later, and show this lost person the necessary." Shelly took me, and once we were out of the room. "What else happened?"

"You've always been able to read me; this time, I'm glad. Carol had never told Jim what she asked me to do."

"What? You're kidding, aren't you?"

"No. It's a bit worse than that."

"What could be worse?"

"Shelly, she told me at the rehearsal that I'm to be her matron of honor as well."

Shelly caught her breath, and I continued, "So it's not surprising that Jim didn't take it well."

"He seemed okay when you came into the room."

"That was after a half hour talking. I think, at one point, he was ready to call it all off, because Carol had asked a guy to do this and also cause she'd hidden it." She looked ready to say something, but I raised my hand. "Just a little bit more, please.".” While I was with the others, keeping the mask up had been easier. Now that it was just the two of us, my walls were rapidly crumbling.

"Okay. What else can there be?"

"I explained why I was willing to do this, and also gave him the option," I choked up a bit at this. "The option that I'd get too sick to attend, if he said so." I was holding myself awfully rigid at that point, to keep the tears from falling.

"Oh, Stevie." She reached out to me, and I lost it. I'd been able to hold myself together, when it was needed for Carol and Jim, but I couldn't any more.

"I—*choke*—I'm sorry." I cried on her shoulder.

Looking back, I guess it is a good thing that Reverend Willie happened to come by about then. I'm not sure what Shelly would have done. Me, I was falling apart.

We heard someone clear their throat. "Excuse me, ladies. I was looking for the men's room, and got a little lost. I couldn't help seeing you appeared to be in a bit of distress. Perhaps there's something I can do?"  Then, he looked a little closer. "You're the matron of honor, that just found out today, aren't you?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak yet.

"I'm sure that anything can be resolved, given the Lord's help. Would you care to tell me, what you appear to have told your friend here?"

I looked at Shelly, and she shrugged. Perhaps Reverend Willie COULD help.

"I-I do-don't want to impose, Reverend Willie."

"I'm here for you child, if you want or need to talk."

I actually snorted at that. It had been a LONG time since anyone had called me ‘child'.

"There, that's a bit happier. Do you want to talk?"

"I-I think so."

"Why don't we go on down to that lounge then? My old knees would be happier if they could sit down."

We accompanied him down to the lounge, and I introduced him to Shelly.

"Shelly, this is the Right Reverend Dr. William Witherspoon, the one who will be marrying Jim and Carol. Reverend Willie, this is my spouse, Shelly."

I think I could see light dawning in his eyes, but probably for the wrong reason.

"Reverend Willie, I'm here under false pretenses. I'm not qualified to be a matron of honor, or even a bridesmaid really."

"You're Carol's friend, aren't you?" He looked a little confused now.

"That's not what I mean. I'm not physically—" I started.

"—No, Stevie. There are a lot of things I'm not sure about and don't really understand, but you ARE qualified to be a bridesmaid. Of that I am absolutely certain." Shelly interrupted.

"I don't think I understand, but, if you help, maybe I can," Reverend Willie said.

Then, slowly, we explained the situation to him. I think we were both glad to find someone we could talk about this with.

"I'm not sure I really understand what you're going through, but I do know the Lord puts challenges in front of us, and for some, the challenges are far more difficult than others and no matter the challenge, it is our duty to recognize the challenges and work through them." He then turned to me. "For you, it appears our Lord had presented you with some very large challenges. Remember that a burden shared is one that is easier to bear. Do not try to deal with it alone; our Lord is there to help those who ask."

"Thank you, Reverend Willie," Shelly said. "You've given me something to think about, and my spouse as well, I think."

"Don't hesitate to call on me again, if I can help you, my children. Now, if you don't mind, I think they will be running out of food soon, if we don't get a move on."

"We'd best be going then, Shelly. His assistant back at the church stressed how important food is to Reverend Willie."

"Now, that's not fair. The Lord's work always comes first, but when it's done..."

We both laughed. "Reverend Willie, I think you use that just to make people laugh."

"My child, you hurt me. Good food is the Lord's gift to us all, and we're missing it."

"Okay. Enough, Stevie, we'd best get back, before Carol climbs the wall or they think we've run off."

We returned to the dinner, and seeing that Reverend Willie didn't go looking for the men's room, I thought his comment about being lost was not necessarily quite legit but didn't really mind. Talking with him HAD helped. Just as we were about to re-enter the room, he said. "Of course, returning to the party with two such lovely ladies is sure to do MY reputation no harm."

I almost lost it then, and Shelly did laugh and was still doing so when we went into the room.

"Ahh, they've not served the meal yet. All is NOT lost."

Stacy came rushing up. "Are you two okay?"

"They're fine, I found the missing sheep. We just needed to talk a little."

Stacy looked from Reverend Willie to Shelly to me. "Okay, whatever. Can we sit down please?"

We made our way to the indicated table, and found ourselves at the table with Jim, Carol, Stacy, Frank and Reverend Willie.

Dinner itself went very well, though it seemed to me like a number of us were a little stiff, okay four of us, myself included. I wondered what Jim's decision would be, and what would come from his discussion with Shelly. Jim stood up and said in a raised voice that all would here, "Time to mingle again, so we can work off some of this excellent meal my Uncle has provided." He pointed to an older gentleman at another table, who nodded. "You'll want to walk around some too. There is another course coming that you WILL not want to miss. Uncle's deserts are NOT to be missed!"

Quite a number laughed at his announcement, but I didn't see anyone remaining seated, or trying to leave. Jim made his way over. "Shelly, would you mind having a short chat with me?"

"I was expecting it, but do you want to leave your guests?"

"Not really, but I do think it's important and I figure your SPOUSE—" I could hear his emphasis on the word—"can help Carol keep people circulating. I don't think we'll be too long. We certainly won't miss the desert." He actually smiled at that, though it didn't really reassure me.

"Come on Carol, we need to circulate."

She swallowed. "I don't see how you can be so calm."

I smiled, "He loves you, silly. You ARE getting married tomorrow."

We moved around the room, talking to the others. I met Carol's parents, as if for the first time, and met Jim's parents. Both couples were very nice, and were glad to meet Carol's matron of honor.

Jim's dad said, "Carol, this lady does seem to be all you described."

Carol's dad then chimed in, "I'd expected my daughter to be a bit hyper, to be quite honest. You have the same calming effect on her as that friend of hers from college."

Carol and I looked at each other, and Carol chimed in. "She knows his secret method."

"Well, however you do it, miss, I'm glad you can. I was amazed at how calm she was for most of the rehearsal, and then when they closed the door on us, Carol, you started shifting your weight and started asking the young lady ‘now?' every few seconds. Then, the door opened, and you were all there waiting for us and she calmed back down." He turned to his daughter. "Honey, you saw today that it wasn't long, tomorrow it'll be even easier with the music"

"I know, Daddy."

"I'll give you something to borrow. I told you I would."

"I know Stevie. I'm sorry, I can't help it. Something might go wrong."

I looked like I was thinking hard, "Yes, I guess you're right. The Sun could stop, and stand still the moment before the door opened." Folks were looking at me like I'd grown another head. "Yes, Carol, I think you're right to worry about that happening." I couldn't keep my serious face any longer, and broke into a big smile, and she settled down and shook her head.

"Why did I actually believe that might happen for a minute?"

"Because you like to worry, and I bet you were also trying to think of a way to fix it."

She hung her head a little, and both sets of parents laughed.

"She's got your number, honey." Her dad contributed.

"We should go see what's keeping Jim, don't you think?" I asked Carol.

"Good idea." I wasn't really sure if she thought it was a good idea or if she wanted to get away from the parents for a bit.

We worked our way to the door, and I saw Shelly talking with Karen, Samantha and Stacy. "I guess they're done. So, Jim should be around here somewhere. I helped her locate Jim, and started her in that direction. I was afraid to go too, for fear he might be telling me to stay away tomorrow. I wasn't ready to face that.

I then made my way over to where the others were standing.

Shelly saw me coming up. "Hi, Stevie. We'll be taking Karen and Samantha back to the hotel with us tonight, since Stacy is taking Carol home."

"Yes, once the party's over, those two are apart until they're married tomorrow," Stacy said firmly. "Do you mind if she calls if necessary?"

I looked at Shelly, who nodded. "Okay for an hour or so anyway. But we do need to go to sleep. Or, I guess after 7:00 am."

"I'll see you all at the salon in the morning then."

Karen and Samantha both acknowledged this, but I kept my silence. I didn't know yet. I swallowed, "Shall we say good night to the bride and groom then?"

"Louise just left, and I think Alice and Mary did as well, a few minutes ago," Samantha added.

We made our way over to Carol and Jim. I'm not proud to admit that I trailed behind a little. Shelly hadn't hinted one way or the other, if she knew his decision. As we got closer, I think Carol didn't know either, because she was acting a bit more nervous than usual around Jim.

As the others were saying good night, and telling Carol they'd see her in the morning. I stood by quietly, afraid to look at Jim.

To me, "I understand that the Something Borrowed is coming from you, Stevie."

"Yes, it will be there."

"I'm sure."

Why was he dragging things out? No, I deserved this, for contributing to the deception.

I sighed. "Carol will be a stunning bride."

--- Continued

Part 8

"Yes, and as Reverend Willie said, you will make a striking matron of honor tomorrow."

"JIM!" Carol squealed as she turned and hugged him. I could see the confused looks on most of the others' faces, but didn't plan to eliminate their questions.  Had anyone been looking at me, I suspect they'd have been more confused by my relieved expression.

"I guess she loves the guy. What do you think?" I could joke a little again. I tried to show my gratitude in my eyes, but he was mostly taking care of Carol.

The trip back to the hotel was quiet. I'm not sure why Karen and Samantha didn't ask questions, but it could go back to the embarrassment over lunch. And, despite coming out to Jim and Reverend Willie this evening, I wasn't ready to go any further, at least not without talking to Shelly for a long time first.  I know I'd, more or less, admitted things at lunch, but that didn't mean I was really ready to tell all, as it were, to everyone.

When they invited us to have a drink before going up to our rooms, Shelly and I demurred. Once back in our room, I began turning myself back into Steve, but was stopped by Shelly.

"No, Stevie. We need to stop and talk a bit." She told me about her conversation with Jim, and then that Reverend Willie happened by as she was raising her voice.

"You were?"

"I'm afraid so. I was losing my temper with him. I know I don't really understand your need to be Stevie, but he had no right to be blaming you for pulling the trick on him, or depriving Carol of your influence."

"Whoa, honey, he's the one marrying her. As gracious as you've been all these years, letting me help her, I can't imagine it needing to happen much more. You wait and see. She'll settle down a LOT, once she's married."

"I'll believe it when I see it, but, if anyone knows, I guess you do."

"Thank you for defending me, honey."

"I've been thinking about what Reverend Willie said. He said much the same when he talked with Jim and me." She paused a minute. "You know, he didn't even have to use the excuse that he was looking for the men's room this time."

I laughed a little. "How did he explain it?"

"Would you believe, he said he was called?" At my incredulous look, "He actually said that, but he also said he heard my voice down the hall."

I looked even more incredulous then. "You were THAT loud?"

She looked a little sheepish. "I'm afraid so."

"Thank you, honey. For me, and even more, for Carol."

"Don't thank me, Jim decided on his own, after I left him with Reverend Willie. You know, that old man is very wise."

I nodded. "I've gotten that impression."

"Are you still going to let Carol borrow your mother's pearls?"

"Unless you want to wear them..." I started. "But, if you do, I have a backup plan that will work as well."

"No, I'm afraid the pearls would not work with my outfit."

"You're still not going to show me, are you?"

She shook her head. "I want to surprise you."

I looked at her. "It's not a tux, is it?"

She laughed. "I'll go that far, and tell you no, it's not a tux. But I'll say no more."

"I get the hint, but, I'll be looking for you tomorrow."

"Good." She replied. "What was your alternate?"

"I was going to give her one of my handkerchiefs, yes, a clean one."

"I didn't even know you brought one."

"Yes, I did."

She shook her head. "You really do want to be a bridesmaid, don't you?"

"To be honest, it IS something I've dreamed of for a LONG time. I really never thought it would ever happen. Thank you for letting me have this dream. When we get back, I'll be the best husband I can."

"I know. But, on that topic; I wasn't sure if I was going to do this or not, but after all the discussions, I think I should." She got up, and went over to her dresser and got out a package and brought it to me.

"I think you should open this tonight."

With some trepidation, I opened the package. I assumed she was re-using the packaging, but couldn't believe my eyes.

"I think you need to be Stevie from now, until we go home."

I thought the nightgown was beautiful. "Are you sure?"

"I wasn't sure—until tonight—but, yes, I am, I am now."

"I don't know what to say."

"Thank you is normal, when you receive a gift."

"THANK you. I love you, Shelly."

She nodded. "And, tomorrow, at the salon, let them do your brows and actually cut the hair. The brows will grow back, and you can cut the hair again when we get home, if needed."

"If you're sure?"

She nodded. "The others will probably be, and you should too."

We had a quiet evening and were asleep within an hour.

Waking up entwined with Shelly was a delight, but unfortunately, I had to go. After carefully extracting myself, I made it and did what was needed. Waking up like that was a pleasant surprise—and totally unexpected—after going to sleep on opposite sides of the bed.

I padded back into the room and carefully got back into bed. The alarm wasn't set to go off for at least another hour. I lay there thinking about all that had happened over the past twenty-four hours. What a busy day and today was likely to be just as busy. At least I didn't have to worry about getting the gown TO the church.

At first, I didn't notice it, but Shelly had moved over and snuggled up again. It was the first time on the trip! We'd gotten back into snuggling before the fitting, but that had stopped again once I got home. I remained quiet and just enjoyed our closeness. I wasn't sure what had happened, but I didn't want to disturb the moment.

I guess I must have drifted off to sleep again, because I awoke to the alarm. We were still cuddled together.

I yawned, and she whispered into my ear, "Wake up, sleepy head. You've got a busy day today."

She was still snuggled up next to me. "I love you, you know."

"Yes, silly. You don't think I'd do this with anyone else, do you?"

I must have squeezed tighter or something, because her next question showed she recognized my fear. "You too? Why?"

"Honey, I don't know that I can ever be the man you want."

"Oh, Steve, I married YOU, not some jock. We have issues right now, and I know I'm having difficulty with some of them. But, we pledged for better or for worse, and I meant it. We'll work something out."

"Wait, did you say you DO, or you TOO?"

"I'm sorry. I said 'too'. I keep worrying that you'll want a boyfriend, if you're a girl."

"Shelly, I've not changed who I was. My taste in who I like certainly hasn't." I tried to joke a little. "I really don't see what you see in some of those guys." I knew I was joking, but I also worried about that.

She looked at me a little funny. "You've certainly shown that, this week." Then, she showed me that she was willing to joke about it a little as well. "I guess that means I get all the guys."

I nodded, "As long as I can look at the girls."

"Look, but don't touch."

As soon as we were out of bed she checked my ears. "I think you can wear the earrings, if you are very careful."

"Maybe I can ask one of the other girls to help after we get dressed."

"That would be a good idea."

We finished getting ready, and went down to breakfast. Karen and Samantha were arriving at the same time we were, so we took a table for four.

"Some party last night."

"Yes it was," I agreed

"Was there something going on last night?" asked Samantha.

I looked at Shelly, and she replied, "Besides the party? I don't think so."

"Okay, wasn't sure, 'cause first Stevie, Jim and Carol arrive late, then you and Stevie left, and came back with Reverend Willie—he's such a funny guy—then Shelly and Jim went off, and they came back with Reverend Willie, then you seemed reluctant to say good bye to Carol and ... Ouch!"

"It's okay, Karen. It was you that kicked her, wasn't it?"  I was a little amazed that she'd gotten all that out in one breath.

She nodded.

"It's just that Carol never told Jim anything about me, but he knew she'd invited her friend from college." I could see light dawning in their eyes. "We were working that out last night."

There was a brief pause then, while I got my cup of decaf Earl Gray, and they all got their coffees.

"By the way, Karen, would you and Samantha mind doing Stevie a favor?"

"We'd be glad to."

"I'll need help putting in the earrings that Carol gave as a gift. You got pairs too, didn't you?" It suddenly occurred to me that the gifts might have been different.

They both laughed. "You mean those nice garnet danglies?" Samantha replied.

I nodded. "We'd be glad to, but what's the problem?"

I looked at Shelly, who only smiled at me. "I just got my ears pierced a few weeks ago."

"You've never had them pierced before?"

I shook my head. "And they looked horrible on the pierced to clip converters. I was just going to just forget to bring them, but this works better; only, I've never put earrings in myself before."

"They should be healed enough." Shelly contributed, "as long as you're careful."

"We'd be glad to help."

So that took care of that. The rest of breakfast was peaceful. No further difficult questions were asked. I know I was thankful, and suspect that Shelly was too. Returning to our rooms, I made arrangements to take a cab to the salon with Karen and Samantha.

"Sorry to have to be leaving you again, honey."

"You'll have a wonderful time. I'll be pampering myself in the hotel salon after a nice soak and bubble bath."

"Do I get to see your dress yet?"

"Nope, but you will today. Give me a hug, and get going."

I hugged her. She was so wonderful. Then, I grabbed my purse and made sure my earrings were there.

"Stevie, let them do what they need with the hair and eyebrows. They're only temporary changes, and you'll look better for the wedding."

I recalled the pain from the minor shaping that had been done, and winced. "Thanks, I think. No, really, that should make the day easier. What they'll do with my hair, I dunno though."

"At the simplest, they'll put some curls in, though it could be an up do or even include some trimming and layering. It will grow back out so you can donate it. Oh, honey, don't worry. Just go and enjoy yourself. I'll see you at the wedding later."

I hugged her again "I love you, honey."

"You too. Now get going."

I laughed, and headed down to meet the others.

The trip to the salon was quiet. We just talked about the wedding, and they asked if Carol had really not told me about the matron of honor bit until the rehearsal. I assured them that this was the case, and we all laughed.

Arriving at the salon, we saw that Carol, Shelly and Louise were there.

"Stevie, you're here! Hi Karen and Samantha. Let's go in and talk to Alberto. The others will be here soon."

I hoped the others didn't mind Carol's greeting. It was kind of obvious, even though Karen was in front of me. "What are we doing today?"

"Alberto said he has plans, but he wants to see us all before he does his magic."

I laughed.

"Buongiorno, signora. Welcome to my modest salone."

"Alberto. These are my friends."

"Naturalmente, Of course they are. We do wonderful creations for your beautiful wedding."

"You'll be there to put in the hair piece?"

"Certamente! I would have this done by none other. I also fix anything messed by the wind. All are here, no?"

"Two more," Stacy responded.

"Capisco. We get started on other than the hair then. Come my assistants will start."

We moved on following the funny Italian out of the reception area into the salon proper. He seemed to be looking us all over. He said something about Louise being a challenge.

Then, apparently, the other two arrived because Alberto, who was looking toward the door said, "Ah, the others have arrived. Now we can begin."

He had us all in seats, where we could see each other, but the mirrors were covered, so we could not see what was being done. He spent time with each of us, and talked to the assistant that would be doing some of the work.

"Hmmm. You are a challenge my dear. Have you never done anything with your hair?"

"Not really."

"Such a crime. You have such lovely soft hair. It is so good for your complexion, but the style, it is all wrong. We must fix your style. Yes. Something that hangs forward and lets you peek through. Not too much though. And your brows, we must do something with them, if you allow. They are neat, but the shape does nothing for you. Such lovely lashes, and dark brown eyes. Yes, we can work with this. You will be beautiful when we are done."

As I'd heard him go through a similar litany with Louise and Stacy, I wasn't too surprised. I would be surprised if he was able to bring off the beautiful though.

As for the results, all of the girls were truly amazed at the results. I was constantly reminding myself to not push the bangs out of the way. How I was going to hide the do when we got home, I didn't know. The layering and various lengths going down the sides and the large curls. I couldn't believe the difference.

I wasn't happy with the process, but he was right that shaping my brows made a big difference. But, it would be no easier to deal with that either. Hmmm. Maybe I can ask Shelly to bet me something that I can lose. Then, I can shave them all the way off and claim that was what I lost in the bet.

The makeup came next, and they did something to my eyes, they didn't really look heavily made up, but they seemed to draw the eyes. The nails were no longer than I'd gotten before, but the design was much more. They put what looked like little garnets on a rose satin pearlescent background. That would good with the gowns.

Finally we were all done. What he'd done for Carol was nothing less than amazing. It looked like a simple ponytail, but it wasn't. Stacy had questioned it, but Alberto had said 'No, this is perfect for your sister. The simplicity will shine through like a torch. You will see.'

"We will go now, ladies. I understand that Carol has arranged for the limos to pick you up. Have no fear. I will be there to fix any accidents." He bubbled on, as we headed out to the limos. There were two of them. Carol, Stacy and I got into the front (smaller) one, and the other five got into the larger of the two.

"Stevie, did you bring the earrings?" asked Stacy.

"Yes, Karen and Samantha volunteered to help me put them in."

"What?"

"I only got my ears pierced a few weeks ago, and don't really know how."

"I forgot. I'm sorry, Stevie," she put her hand to her mouth. "What did Shelly say?"

"It's okay, Carol. Believe it or not, it was her idea?"

They were both surprised at this, so I had to tell the story about my helping Hope get her earrings. Both of them couldn't get over how understanding Shelly was.

"She's wonderful."

"What will happen, after the wedding, Stevie?"

--- Continued

Part 9

Nice of her to think about that NOW, but no, I can't muck up her wedding day. "Don't worry." Now, change the subject. "You've seen her. She has a special gown for the wedding and reception too. She hasn't even let me see it yet."

"Ohhh, I bet it's nice," said Stacy.

"Me too. She's also spent the afternoon in the hotel salon."

"Going all out."

I nodded. About then, the limos pulled to a stop, and we carefully went in the church door, where Pam was waiting for us.

"Come on in, before the wind picks up. We have plenty of time. The guys don't get here for another hour."

We went in. Before changing, I got out the pearls.

"Carol, I told you I'd brought something you could borrow." I held out the case.

She opened it: "Oh my, oh my, Stevie, they're beautiful."

"They were my grandmother's. They are for you to borrow."

"They're so beautiful." She showed the necklace and earrings to the others.

"The earrings are for pierced ears." Louise remarked.

"Yes, grandma had them converted for my wedding."

"You borrowed them as well?" she asked.

"It was a beautiful wedding, Stevie."

"Thanks, Carol." I was glad for her interruption. "And yours will be as well." I smiled.

Stacy got out a new blue garter; "Sis, with Stevie's contribution and this, you have something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue."

The other girls laughed at this. "You're just being lazy, Stace," her sister teased.

"Hey, I had something old for you too, but these are so much nicer."

More laughter.

Stacy and I helped Carol get dressed, though Stacy seemed a little put off by this initially. I didn't hear what Stacy said, but Carol's response was music to my ears. "She's as much a girl as you or me, sis."

We heard a knocking at the door, and Pam stuck her head in. "You girls ready for Alberto?"

Looking around, I could see we were all dressed. "We're ready enough, Pam."

Alberto probably heard, because he came bursting in. "Stay still, ladies. I must check for damage."

He went to each of us, and looked at things. "You have been good. There is little to fix. Get finished please."

Once Carol was dressed, and Alberto was doing finishing touches before he put the veil in, I went over to Karen and Samantha.

"Will you put the earrings in now?"

"Sure. But we'd best be careful and not mess you up, or Alberto will have us drawn and quartered," Samantha replied.

They quickly removed my posts and carefully inserted the hooks and then put the stops on the back.

Stepping back, Karen said. "You're looking really good, Stevie."

I ducked my head.

"Don't be embarrassed, you are looking good. I bet Shelly will be impressed too."

I smiled at that, though I was cringing inside. Shelly married STEVE, not Stevie. Will she still be able to see me like this?

"Thanks, you two. I'd best get back to Carol. We don't want her climbing the walls, and the artist," I indicated Alberto, "might just get her excited."

The both laughed at that.

As I crossed the room to Carol, I put the posts in the earring case and both into my purse. I was glad they locked the room during the service.

"You're looking really awesome, Carol," I said as I walked up.

"Of course she is. Alberto is an artist," the artist boasted. "The pearls are a brilliant addition. I had no idea she was to wear them."

"I borrowed them from Stevie, Alberto."

"Signora, they are wonderful. I have pulled the hair back a bit more so the ears are clearly visible. As you can see, the effect is fantastico."

I smiled, and just nodded. As far as I could tell, the previous do had looked just as nice.

"Ahh, but your hair has become messed up. You must be more careful. Come sit here and I will fix." He did so, "now, let it be, and you will be lovely."

He continued scurrying around fixing imagined things that were not perfect, or at least not to his satisfaction.

Pam stuck her head in again. "Five minutes. The mothers will be escorted in soon."

"Stevie, here's the ring for Jim," Stacy said.

I'd planned on putting it on my right finger, but found it too big. Wow, I had no idea his hands were that much bigger. I placed it on my index finger, and made sure I could remove it easily.

"Ready."

We all lined up, with Stacy and I accompanying Carol as we'd been told. Then Pam opened the door.

"Have fun, girls."

I nodded as we got to her, and then she locked the door behind us. Stacy and I held Carol's train up. We each had one of the burgundy sashes. I loved the way Carol had tied our dresses to hers. Little details. She's a master at that.

We arrived at the carpeted area, and there was the room divider and her father.

"Dad. What do you think?"

"You're all beautiful, honey."

"It's going to be all right, isn't it?"

"Of course it will."

She turned to Stacy and me then. "I'm scared. What if he's not there?"

I smiled, and reached out to her. "Carol, Jim is there, and waiting for you. I can assure you that he's probably MUCH more nervous than you are. Remember, he's standing there, all alone—except for Reverend Willie—and he's wondering if you'll actually come through the door. Just ask your dad. I'm sure he felt much the same when he was married."

"Young lady, I don't know how you knew that, but you're absolutely right. That was the longest few minutes of my life, waiting for your mother to come through the door on her father's arm. Be brave pumpkin and you will soon give me a son."

A little while later, Pam had Stacy and me come over. Stacy stood in the door, and Frank offered his arm, and escorted her down. I looked over my shoulder, and winked at Carol, before stepping into the doorway myself, to wait for Franks return.

I stood there in the open door, suddenly feeling very alone. I had just left Carol and her dad. She was nervous, but I assured her I'd be right where I'd been during the rehearsal the day before. When that didn't seem to calm her, I reminded her that while she wore the pearls, I was with her. This produced a smiling and more relaxed Carol. I could understand her father's smile of thanks.

Ahh, Frank's on his way back. The ring, yes, it's on my index finger. I can't get over how much bigger Jim's fingers are than mine.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be. Thanks, Frank."

"My pleasure. Let's get Jim married, shall we?"

I nodded my agreement as I smiled at him.

"Okay, go," said Frank, and we were off.

To say I was nervous, would be putting it mildly. It would be so easy for me to ruin things. I tried to look for Shelly, without being too obvious, but didn't see her. Frank was great, and as we reached the front, I whispered, "Thanks."

I took my position and he went to stand with Jim.

We all watched Reverend Willie, and when he nodded, we turned to face the door. I tried to find Shelly, while keeping my face toward the door. Then, just as I found her, I saw the doors begin to open and I had to turn my attention to Carol. The doors were swung fully open. There was Carol, with her father beside her, looking very proud.

The gown was beautiful. It was a satin a-line halter, with a split front and modesty panel. The panel, rather than hide things, seemed to enhance her small breasts. The beaded lace wasn't apparent from here, but it both stiffened the fabric, and provided a lovely texture. I also thought the lace-up back was an interesting touch. As opposed to our empire waists, hers sloped from the front, and the burgundy sash that met our bodices accented her hips. The dress had a short train, and the sash crossed in the back, and flowed out to end near the bottom of the train. The veil started from a small comb in the center of her head. I'd seen Alberto put it in, but I still found it hard to believe it didn't fall out. The veil was actually more of hair decoration, since it just went down her back and dropping to her waist. I still remember Carol's comment from the fitting. "There's no way I'm not going to be able to see Jim clearly when they finally open the door." We'd laughed, but in retrospect, I think it probably did her nerves good to be able to see his smile.

I watched them as they came down the aisle. I finally located Shelly, as they passed her seat, and saw her smiling.  Glad that I had found her, I was able to keep my mind on the service thereafter.

The rest of the wedding went just as we'd rehearsed. I stepped forward to hand Carol the ring right on cue and managed to get back to my position without tripping.

I was crying a little, as Carol and Jim walked up the aisle as husband and wife. I prayed that they would have a wonderful life together.

Frank stepped up, and I stepped out to join him. He whispered "Why do you girls always cry at weddings?"

I whispered back, "Because we're happy."

I heard him snort quietly. As we got back near Shelly, I looked at her, with a smile, and saw she was smiling back.  What I could see of her dress was stunning.  She had a shawl over her bare shoulders, and the bodice crossed in front.  I was sure the color was a perfect match for the darker shade in my gown.  I couldn't wait to get a closer view.

When Frank and I got to the back, he released me, and headed back for Stacy. I stepped over to the room partition, and was promptly jumped by Carol.

"Stevie, I'm married!"

"Really, I'd never have guessed." At her look of surprised, "Of course you are." I was smiling broadly now, "To a wonderful man."

"And I have you to thank for..."

I interrupted her. "You have HIM to thank for it, Carol. Don't you think he deserves a hug?"

"Oh, YES." She bounced back to a grinning Jim, and gave him another big hug. He mouthed at thank you to me, which felt good. Maybe he could accept me, and if he could maybe others as well.

Stacy and Frank joined us, and pair by pair, the rest came out. Pam came over.

"Okay, if you'll all follow the corridor to the opened room, you can rest and chat a bit, as your guests leave. The two that are escorting the mothers and the groomsmen that are directing the guests out should remain."

We went back to the room indicated, and all congratulated Jim and Carol. They both had some of the biggest grins I'd ever seen. A little while later Frank and Mark joined us.

"Stevie, you might want to fix your eyes. I think you've been crying more than the rest of us. I bet you never thought you'd see this day."

"Not exactly, Stacy, I was convinced that she'd get married eventually. I just didn't expect to be in the wedding party. I'm doubly happy I guess."

At that point, Alberto came bustling in. "You girls, why do you HAVE to cry? Come, stop, stop. I must fix things before the pictures."

He fixed those of us needing repair. I was glad to discover that I was not the only one.

Eventually the guests had all left, except for the families and we were lead back into the sanctuary for the staged shots the photographer wanted. He indicated that more would be taken at the reception.

We all headed out to the limos. There were three this time. Stacy and I were in the first one with Carol, Jim and Frank. The others were spread across the other two cars.

"Stevie, I'm looking forward to meeting your husband tonight."

I almost choked. "My spouse will be there, Frank. If we're not next to each other in the line, I'll introduce you later." I hoped that nothing would happen. I looked over at Jim and Carol. I wonder if they heard.

We arrived for the reception, and went in through a side door. Many of the guests had already arrived, but were waiting in the lobby.

As we arrived in the ball room, we were lined up in the receiving line. As it turned out, the last five of us in line were Stacy then Frank, then me, then Jim, and finally Carol. I guess Frank would get to meet Shelly soon. I could feel myself tensing up again, but looking over at Carol with Jim, I knew it was worth it to see my friend happy. Then, unexpectedly, Jim leaned over.

"Frank won't make a scene here. Don't worry." I guess he HAD heard Frank's comment.

Things went on, Frank introduced people to me, and I in turn introduced them to Jim. I'd just introduced an older couple to Jim, which turned out to be his grandparents, when I turned back, and there was Shelly.

"Stevie, this is Mrs.-" he started, but was interrupted by Shelly.

"Hi Stevie."

"I take it you've met?" said Frank. "She's the first one tonight."

"We've known each other almost as long as I've known Carol. How are you, honey?"

"Okay, the wedding was beautiful; we can talk more later." She reached out and gave my hand a squeeze.

This brought my attention back to my duty, I turned with her to Jim, "Jim, you've met my spouse, Shelly." I heard a sharp breath intake from behind, but nobody said anything.

"Shelly, I'm so glad you could come. I'd like to introduce you to my wife..."

The rest of the line went on much like the first part, but I could almost feel the looks Frank gave me with almost every introduction. I almost wished I'd not introduced Shelly that way, but I wasn't ashamed to be married to her. As far as I was concerned, she was the prettiest person there. I hoped that Jim was right about Frank.

Once the last of the guests had passed the receiving line, we separated to our tables. I found myself at the table with Jim, Carol, Stacy and Frank. Shelly and I were to Carol's right, while Frank and Stacy were to Jim's left. I was happy to see that Shelly had been seated with us. The other bridesmaids and groomsmen were spread across two other tables with some others, which I took to be their spouses or dates.

The meal was served, toasts were offered, the cake was served. It all brought back so many memories for both Shelly and me. We both laughed at the number of times people would ding their forks to their wine glasses. Poor Jim and Carol didn't really get to enjoy their meal.

I leaned over. "Don't worry, Carol. You might get to snack a bit once the dancing starts."

"Don't tease her, Stevie. You know good and well folks will keep both of them out there on the floor all night."

"Thanks for the warning, but, I'm not hungry. You'll get your share of dancing too, I'm sure."

At my—I'm sure stricken—look, she laughed. "You have the second dance with Jim, you know, and you'll have one with Frank, and..."

"Stop," I interrupted. I realized then, that I had something to worry about. I don't know why, but I'd assumed I could sit and watch the dancing.

Shelly gave me a quick hug. "Don't worry, dear. Most of it's not formal dancing, and you just sorta move around."

"Thanks."

The dancing went pretty much as expected, well, at the beginning. Jim and Carol had the first dance. Then Carol and her father danced, while Jim danced with me, then Jim's dad had a dance with Carol and Jim was with Stacy. I think Frank was supposed to dance with me then, but we stood on the side and watched.

"You could have warned me in the car."

"Warned?"

"Yeah, that you were a lezzy."

I guess that's better than something he could have said. "Would it have made that much difference?"

"I guess not, I wouldn't have wanted to muck up Jim's ride.  I am surprised that he didn't seem startled though."

"He's known for a while."

"The bast..." Frank started.

"Please don't make a scene."

"No, but we will have words when he gets back, I assure you. Making a fool of me like that."

"Frank, you've been a gentleman. Nobody thinks you're a fool."

At that point Carol's cousin came up, and asked me to dance, and I saw Frank go and ask Shelly for a dance. Other couples came out and joined us on the dance floor. After a few dances, I decided to have my dance with Carol, and cut in. Her current partner looked at me a little funny, but gave way.

"Oh, thank you, Stevie. You've made this the happiest day of my life."

"You and Jim did that."

"Yes, but I'd never have made it without you."

"I don't want you saying that now. You're married to a wonderful guy." Only then, did we notice that many of the other couples had stopped dancing, though things picked up again when Karen and Samantha took to the floor, too.

"I hope I didn't embarrass you by dancing with you."

"You couldn't embarrass me, Stevie."

We hugged at the end of the dance, and most of the other bridesmaids lined up to dance with Carol too. Louise even said, "Good idea, Stevie. Shocking some of these stiffs doesn't hurt. I never thought I'd get a chance to dance with a bride."

"Thanks Louise. I just didn't think about it, to be honest."

Shelly came and, joined, we danced.

"Jim's brother is a bore. He couldn't stop hitting on me."

"I don't blame him, you know. You're by far the most beautiful person here."

"Stevie, don't be silly. If for no other reason, by definition, Carol is."

I laughed with her.

"Shelly, I'm sorry I put you through all of this."

"Don't be. And we'll talk about it more later. Meanwhile, I'm leading the next dance."

"Fine by me. I never was much good at it."

She laughed. "Then, why were you the one everyone wanted to dance with?"

"I missed their toes?"

"It was more than that, honey. Oh, when I danced with Jim, he said how amazed he was at you."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"He said that if you'd not told him, he'd never have suspected you might have been a guy." She must have felt me lurch a little. "I know, honey. I've had a little longer to get used to the idea, but even so, I make mistakes. I'm sure none of us really understand what you're going through, deep down."

I hugged her a little tighter then, "Can we save this for later too, honey?" I wasn't sure I could go through this conversation again, and not lose it right here.

"Sorry, yes. I was just trying to pass on Jim's complement."

"I know, and I appreciate it."

Just then, we were interrupted by Frank, cutting in. "I think I'll dance with the lovely lady."

"No thank you, Frank. We've danced."

"Come on, you ladies shouldn't be dancing together." I saw him weave a little then.

"Let's go talk," I said, trying to lead Shelly toward the side of the dance floor. Frank followed us. He wasn't that steady on his feet.

Shelly said, "Frank, I really don't want to dance with you right now. I'd rather spend time with Stevie."

--- Continued

Final Part (10)

"It's Jim's party, and we're going to dance." He reached out to grab Shelly, and I stepped forward to interpose. "Bug off, she nheedsh a man, *urp*."

He came up short at the end, as Louise was suddenly there, and had grabbed him. "Don't you think you've had a little too much to drink to be dancing?"

Frank tried to turn to her, but she seemed to have him in some sort of hold.

"You know, I thought I was off duty here, Frank."

"I was jusht ashking the lady to dance."

"Frank, back off before there's a disturbance. I think I see Jim coming this way."

That seemed to finally get his attention, as he quit straining. I heard him mutter something like, "Damn lezzies" to himself, but I ignored it.

"You two go on and have fun; I'll keep my eye on Romeo here."

"Thanks, Louise."

"Comes with the territory, I'm afraid.  I doubt he'd be a problem sober."

We nodded, and went off.

An hour or so later, it became time for the bouquet toss. I always thought it was fun to watch the young girls hoping to catch it. Without fail, the guys seemed much less interested in catching the garter. As I didn't know most of the girls all that well, I was rooting for Karen, Samantha or Stacy.  I was sad that Louise had decided to not participate, but I guess Frank was a bit of a handful.

"Everyone ready?"

"Spin her around good, Mary." I heard someone on the side yell. I guess she did, because I could see Carol stumble a little. I didn't think she'd be happy with that. "Throw it."

The bouquet went into the air, over her shoulder toward the side of the crowd I was watching, and all of the girls lunged this way. It hit one girl's hands and bounced. Suddenly it landed in my hands. I wasn't sure what it was at first, then I tossed it back into the air.

Carol had turned around by then, and squealed with glee. Stacy brought it over. "I think this is yours, Stevie. You can't toss it back."

"But, but."

I was already married, but Carol insisted it was mine. I guess, maybe I could save it for Carol, for her first anniversary.

"Oh, don't worry, it's just fun." Someone else chimed in. "At least we don't have long to wait to get married. She's already gotten that part done." That produced a fairly large body of laughter, and folks were ready to move on.

I was less looking forward to the next bit, but what could I do. I didn't pay that much attention to Jim taking the garter from Carol. Nor did I recognize the guy that caught the garter, so I'd not have the embarrassment of someone like Frank doing the job.

I sat in the chair they brought out, and the boy, he couldn't have been more than sixteen or seventeen, came over. Knowing what was coming next, I pulled the hem of the gown up a bit, and pointed my toe toward him.

He got the garter over my ankle, and as folks cheered, he moved it up my calf. It was a bit tight, since I'm more than a little bit larger than Carol. As it got toward my knee, "Come on, have pity on a girl. Much higher, and I'll have horrible wrinkles in this gown." That produced a laugh, but they did stop cheering and I was able to live with it just below my knee. I recalled the poor girl that had had to wear it at our wedding; it was clear up on her thigh. Luckily she'd been wearing a short dress.

The cake cutting went well, and they fed each other nicely. I'm glad the smashing of the cake didn't happen here. I mean, a few bites is one thing, but half a piece of cake in the mouth?

Stacy and I then helped Carol get ready to leave, and I suspect someone other than Frank, maybe his dad, helped Jim get ready.

"Stevie, Stacy, I'd never have made it without you."

"You'd have made it," I rejoined.

"She sure would have, but she'd have been, and driven the rest of us to, nervous wrecks. Thank you for being willing to do this Stevie. You make a great girl." I don't think she noticed my start at that, and I'm sure Carol was far too excited.

"Have fun, Carol. We know what today's date is."

She looked at me blankly, so I added another hint. "We can still count. It's not much work to add nine months to today's date." Stacy got it then, and started laughing, but Carol still looked confused.

"I'm not ready to be Aunt Stacy yet, okay, sis?"

Then, she got it. "Oh, you two."

I liked what they did instead of tossing rice, they tossed recycled paper confetti, which could be swept up and recycled again. Some folks tossed bird seed, but I think this probably had less opportunity for someone to get hurt by some kid tossing the bag, rather than opening it and tossing the contents. It'd also be less likely to get somewhere uncomfortable. I still recalled the bag of rice that hit me.

After seeing Jim and Carol off, the party broke up fairly quickly. Shelly offered Karen and Samantha a ride back to the hotel with us, and they were glad to accept.

"Thanks so much for the ride.  I really wasn't looking forward to a cab ride in these gowns."

I laughed, and agreed with them.

"Oh, by the way," Samantha interrupted, "When are the two of you getting married again?"

That brought silence to the car.

"Ouch!" she yelped. Continuing, "I mean, you caught the bouquet, Stevie."

People relaxed then. "I thought that was determined at the reception. I'm already married, so I don't need to do it again."

"Sorry, Stevie, I guess I should have taken my shoe off before chewing on my foot."

"It's okay.  I think I'm getting used to your sense of humor."

"It's a bit warped, I'm afraid."

We bid them goodbye, and went up to our room. "You really were stunning tonight, Shelly," I remarked while we undressed.

"I did make a bit of an effort. I couldn't have my spouse totally outshine me."

"You could have gone in a sack, and you'd still have been beautiful to me."

She laughed, "Thanks, dear. You still say the nicest things.

She stopped me before I got into my jammies, and asked me to wear my nightgown again. "Stevie's still here, she may as well be comfortable, don't you think?"

"Thank you. But, that brings up Monday." I indicated my hair, "This style is certainly something new for Steve."

"I thought of a story for that. You know how folks back home joke about how strange folks are out here?" I nodded agreement, having heard a few. "Well, we just say you had your haircut, and didn't see what they'd done until it was over and there wasn't time to cut it again. Then, since you want to donate, you will just be letting it grow back out, and get the back trimmed until it's all back where it needs to be to donate."

I nodded, seeing that I could even tell that story, since it was all true. If someone came out and asked me for more, I'd tell them, but she was right about that not being likely. They'd treat it as a joke on me.

"That takes care of the hair. I had a thought about the brows."

"What?"

"I could shave them off, as a result of losing a bet to you out here."

"That might work. Let's not worry about it tonight. Okay?"

"Thanks, honey."

She carefully took out the special earrings and cleaned the ears.

As she put the starter posts back in, "It looks like you were lucky, Stevie."

"That's good, Hope might have been angry if I'd gotten an ear infection."

Shelly laughed with me on that one. The funny thing is that Hope really would have gotten angry at my not taking good enough care.

Sleep that night, was almost a repeat of the previous night, except that she didn't start out as far away from me as she had. She started in her normal place.

We arrived at the airport, and again had no trouble with security. The flight itself was uneventful, a pleasant change from my last flight home. We arrived home; a good hour after the kids went off to school. I took care of getting rid of the nails again. It seemed like such a waste, but I needed to be as much Steve as possible. Our gown bags were in the back of the closet, and Stevie's other stuff was cleaned and put away. I went into my study, to catch up on a week's e mail. Quite a number needed quick responses. I was busy the rest of the afternoon, except for occasional trips down to the basement to move the laundry along and then to fold and put it away.

Hope came home first, and gave both of us big hugs.

"I missed you both sooo very much."

"We missed you too, honey. Were you good for grandma?"

"Of course, Daddy, but Henry..."

"Now don't tattle on your brother."

"Okay, Mommy. Can I have a snack?"

She went on to get her snack. Henry should be home too, they both went to the same neighborhood school. I went to look out the window.

"Henry's across the street with his friend Johnny."

"I'm not surprised. Skateboarding?"

"That's it."

I was glad that Hope was happy to see us, Henry would probably not even notice. It was Vicky I was worried about. We had an hour until she got home from the High School.

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad." Henry came tearing in. He dumped his bag and lunch box, and ran straight for the bathroom. I've seen him move like that before. A few minutes later, we heard the flush.

"Go back and wash your hands."

"Aww, Mom."

"You heard her."

"Okay, Dad." He turned and went back in. "I really don't see why…" we could hear his muttering.

"You're right dear. Eventually, he should get the habit and it will keep him healthier."

Shelly nodded. I picked up Henry's lunch box, and started empting it. "He skipped his grapes."

"I assume his desert, whatever it was, is gone."

"Looks that way."

He was coming out at that point. "What was desert today, sport?"

"I don't remember. Can I go back out and play with Johnny?"

"Any homework?"

"Just my spelling."

I glanced over at Shelly, and didn't say no.

"Okay, after dinner then."

"Thanks, Dad."

Hope came back in. "Daddy, can you read to me?"

"Let me finish with your brother's lunchbox first. Oh, where's yours?"

"My box was dirty, so grandma gave me a paper bag with my name on it. She let me draw flowers on the other side."

"That's nice." I could see Shelly getting stuff out to start dinner. "What did you want me to read, punkin?"

"Good Night, Moon"

"We'll be in the den, if you need us, honey."

"Have fun, you two."

"Come on, Daddy."

I looked over at Shelly, and shrugged helplessly at her smile.

I read that story, and three others, before she'd had enough. "Are you going to read me one too?"

"Okay, Daddy. You pick."

I let her read a story to me. It was nice spending time with her, Shelly had read to the kids more often than I had, so this was a treat.

After she had finished, I heard someone in talking with Shelly. "I think Vicky's home."

That got Hope excited. She dropped her book in my lap, and took off. I carefully stacked the books to be put away later, and headed for the kitchen to see what her reaction would be. I may as well get it over.

As I came in, Vicky gave me a funny look, but came over and gave me a hug anyway. "Welcome home, Daddy."

"Thanks, how was your week?

"Same old stuff. I hope you and Mommy had fun out there."

"Mostly, it was interesting. The bride was beautiful."

She laughed at that. "Daddy, the bride is always beautiful."

"True. I think there's a rule about that somewhere."

"Well, I gotta go get started on my homework." She turned to Hope, "Come on, and tell me about your day."

At my look, she just smiled. Such wonderful kids. I gave a big sigh.

"Come over and stir this, would you?"

"Sure, honey." I took the spoon from her, and stirred the sauce she was making.

"I told Vicky the story about your hair."

"Thanks, I think. No, you're right, that's easiest."

Dinner that night was fairly quiet. I got Henry to bed while Shelly dealt with an excited, but tired, Hope.

"See you in the morning, sport."

"Night, Dad. PB and J tomorrow."

I laughed. "Okay. Mind if I use the strawberry jam?"

"Daaad."

"Okay, okay. It'll be grape."

"Thanks, Dad. Night."

"Sleep well, son."

I ran into Shelly in the hall, and she gave me a thumbs up. We quietly went downstairs.

"You going to strip your photos from the camera, honey?"

She nodded. "Stacy said she'd share what she got as well."

We went down to the den, and were looking through the pictures.

"You were really happy out there, weren't you?"

I turned toward Shelly. "Yes, but that's over now."

At that point, Vicky walked in. "Looking at photos from the trip? Can I see?"

"You just want to see the dresses," Shelly accused.

"Well, yours anyway. You wouldn't let me see it before you and Daddy went out there. You said it was a surprise for him."

"She surprised me all right."

Shelly laughed. "Sure, do you want to start at the beginning of the week, or somewhere else?"

"Can we start with the wedding, Mom? Knowing you and Dad, there are probably tons of pictures."

Shelly looked at me then and shrugged. "Sure."

As she moved to the right images, her computer chimed.

"Just a second honey. Let me check this. I'm expecting something."

She checked her mail, and "It's Stacy's pictures. That's your Dad's friend—Carol's—sister. She was the maid of honor, and said she'd collect some shots and send them to us. Since we've not seen them, let's start there."

She opened the archive, and we looked at the shots. A few were taken by the photographer's assistant using a small digital camera. I wasn't sure about the others.

"Here's the whole wedding party." Shelly went on pointing out when things were happening.

"There's your Mom and her gown," I interrupted.

"Wow, Mom, that's amazing! Can I have one like that for my prom in a few years?"

"We'll see, honey."

After a little while. "Daddy, I thought she was your friend."

"She is."

"Then, how come you're not in any of the pictures?"

The question I'd dreaded since we started. "You probably just didn't notice."

"I was looking, honest. Let's see Mom's pictures. I'm sure you're in there."

Shelly switched folders to the one she'd taken and started going through them again.

After we'd gone through at least two dozen, "I still haven't seen you, Daddy."

"You've just missed him, dear."

"You two are teasing me."

"Not really," rejoined Shelly.

"Okay, show me a picture Daddy's in, and wait until I can find him."

She looked at me. I shrugged. What else can I do? Should I leave the room? I raised my brows, and nodded toward the door. Shelly shook her head no, so I knew she wanted me to stay.

"That's a good one."

Shelly looked at it, "Yes, it actually is."

It was a shot of me dancing with Jim, with a lot of people across the field of view. My face was in clear view as well.

Okay, I'm going to find you. "This guy is your friends' husband, right?"

"Yes."

"So, that's not you. Now let's see the crowd." She zoomed the picture a bit, and looked at each member of the crowd. "You're not there."

"Yes I am. Zoom it back out," I said with some trepidation. I had no idea how she'd react to finding me.

"Okay Mom, I give up. Where's Dad?"

"I centered the picture on your father."

"Huh. But that's the groom and one of the bridesmaids." She paused then, and looked closer, then looked at me. "No, you've got to be kidding. I mean, this was a wedding, not a costume party. No." She turned and looked at me, and back at the picture, then back at me. "No, it can't be." She zoomed the picture. "Oh my go… It IS you."

"Well, you found me."

"I don't believe it. You just have the same hairstyle..." her voice trailed off at the end.

"Vicky, would you like to see the dress."

"Mom…"

"Come on dear."

Shelly took the laptop, and put it on the table. "Let's go up and see the gown, then we can explain."

Vicky got up, with a dazed expression, and followed Shelly upstairs. I'd caught the we in the 'we can explain', so I knew she wanted me there too.

In our bedroom, Shelly went into our closet, and brought out my gown. I got a lump in my throat just seeing it again. Perhaps we should have just left it in California, by accident sorta. It's not easy seeing it, knowing I'll never wear it or anything like it again. I sighed then, and Shelly looked up. I wish I knew what she was thinking.

"Vicky, your father was the matron of honor."

"You-your friend asked you to do this, Daddy?"

"Yes, honey. She did."

"How could she do it?" then she stopped. "How come you looked so much like a woman?"

I figured it was safe to answer the second half of the question. "A LOT of work and a crazy hair dresser did most of it."

"But, nobody realized you were a guy." I pulled back a little at that. Even though she didn't know, it hurt.

"Actually, I think that besides your father, the bride and myself, five others knew or figured it out."

"I don't believe this. My dad, a drag queen."

"No, that's not it," I started.

"Well, what else is it when a guy…"

"Stop right there, young lady," Shelly interposed. I guess I'm glad she did, I was shocked, and just sat back on the bed.

"Your father just came back from a very stressful event. He was there, because his oldest friend asked and needed him to be there. He worked his tail off to learn to do things so he wouldn't embarrass her, himself or me. You apologize for that right now." Blistering is probably the best word to describe what she sounded like. I don't think Vicky had ever heard her like that, I'd only heard her like that once before, on the trip.

"I'm sorry, Mom."

"No."

"Um. Dad, I'm sorry, but I don't understand."

"No you don't. You usually think before spouting. Now, that's enough for tonight. When you think you can be understanding, maybe we can tell you more. But, either way, you won't be talking about this."

She shook her head. It hurt to see her so confused. She was usually so collected she seemed much older than her fifteen years, I guess we also forgot.

I got up. "Vicky, I'm sorry you were shocked by this. We'd not figured out how to explain it to you yet. I want you to know I'm still the same person I was last month, and all your life."

She came to me then, "I'm sorry, Daddy. I'm not sure why I said it that way."

"Later, okay?"

"Yeah, okay, Daddy."

She headed off to her room. Shelly was still holding my gown, though it was folded over her arm.

"Well, that didn't go as well as it could have."

"No, I guess not. I'm sorry you got put into this position. I never wanted to hurt any of you."

"I know." She came over and gave me a much needed hug. "I guess I was more stressed over this than I thought. I shouldn't have gone off on her like that."

"It got her attention."

"I know, but, well, we'll work that out too." She stepped back. "Oh, I'd best hang the gown back up before it's too wrinkled."

She headed for the closet, as I said to myself, "not that it makes much difference. I probably should have left that in California."

Shelly turned. "No, it makes a difference. I learned that while we were out there. Sit down, and let me put this away. We need to talk."

I wondered what she wanted to talk about. I thought we'd agreed on what to do. I was worried now. Maybe just being Steve wouldn't be enough. So with quite a bit of trepidation, I sat and awaited her return.

"Steve, I saw a new side of you this past week. And, this afternoon, with Hope, just reinforced it."

"I'll get the hair cut tomorrow."

"That's not what I meant." She came over and sat beside me and took my hands. "You were more animated and," she paused a moment as if searching for words "I guess alive is the only word that fits. You were more alive than you've been except briefly here and there when you were with the kids. Seeing you reading with Hope reminded me of this."

"What do you want me to do?"

"It's not that. It's who you are. You're more than just Steve. I-I-I I want you to be all of you."

"But—we agreed."

"No, Stevie. I mean it. I still love you, and I guess I understand better what you tried to tell me months ago. Stevie's not going away. She's part of you. If I were to allow you to build a wall around that part of you again, I'd be afraid of losing a part of you that is so very loving and caring. Your reaction to Vicky's flippant comment was just one example.

"I don't know how, or what will happen, but I do know that Stevie will still be here, not just Steve. Whether it ends up as a part-time or full-time thing, we'll find a way to get through together."

I couldn't take it anymore, and the tears started flowing. Shelly reached out, and we hugged. I'm not sure when I realized she was crying too. I tried to pull back, saying, "I'm sorry."

"No, Stevie, don't say that. You're you. You're the person I married and have loved all these years. Whatever comes, we'll face it together."

It was probably at least fifteen minutes, but it could well have been much longer, before we pulled ourselves together.

"You look a sight."

"You do too, and I can't be as bad."

"Why?"

"No makeup."

"Oh, you silly." But she realized I was right. We went into the bathroom, and both cleaned up.

"I'd best go check on Vicky."

"Okay," Shelly returned.

I walked out of our room, and down to Vicky's, expecting to find her there, but I didn't.

I wonder where she is. I went downstairs. Then I heard a sound from the den, and found Vicky sitting in front of Shelly's laptop, rocking back and forth.

"You okay, honey?"

"Daaaady."

I realized she was crying, and rushed over. Kneeling by the sofa. "What's wrong?"

"Why'd you do it, Daddy?"

"It's a long story, but the first thing I have to tell you is I still love you, your mother and your brother and sister. That hasn't changed, and won't change."

"But," she started.

"Vicky, try to listen. This isn't easy for me, and it'll probably be harder for you, at first, anyway." I paused a minute. "If you can stop crying, I'd like to get up off my knees. They hurt."

She choked a laugh at that. "You're silly, Daddy."

I nodded, "Yes, but you're not crying so hard. Now, do you think I can get up and sit down?"

"Of course, Daddy."

I got up, and sat on the foot stool, so I could face her. "Here's the short version I guess." I took a deep breath. "I have a gender identity disorder. I don't really feel it's a disorder per se, but that's the technical term these days. Back when I found out what was going on, they didn't have that term. They just called it transsexual. What that means, is that as far as my brain, and I like to think, my heart are concerned, I'm as much a woman as you or your mother. Only, I was born with the wrong plumbing."

"Does that mean you're going to start wearing dresses and stuff?"

"I don't know. I doubt it, or at least not soon. I've been your daddy all your life, and have no regrets about that. You, and the others, are more important to me than something like that."

"How long have you known?"

"Known what to call it?" At her nod I continued, "I learned a few years before you were born. I was seeing a shrink to find out if I was crazy. Back then, I had no idea that there might be others that felt like I did. So I was trying to find out why I felt different."

"Mom's known all that time?"

"No, I never actually told your mom. I was going to before you were born. My friend was told, but just before I was going to tell your mom, she was in an accident. And things happened, you came along, and the others. I don't know that I'd ever have told your mom, if this wedding hadn't come up."

"You wanted to do this?"

"Yes and no. I originally told her no. But that's when I told your mom."

"You mean when you were sleeping in the guest room?"

"You noticed."

She nodded "I thought you'd fought, but I'd never seen you do that before. I was afraid something was wrong. I was glad when you made up."

"Well, your mom didn't take my news very well, and I really don't blame her. Both from what I am, but also because I'd not told her sooner, I think."

"But, didn't knowing you had this disease?" she had a question at the end of her voice.

"No, it's not a disease, or something that could be cured. It's just the way I am."

"Okay, but didn't knowing all this but hiding it hurt?"

"Sometimes more than others. Sometimes I would go months without it hurting, other times, it was all I could do to not say something." I took a breath. "I'm really sorry you had to learn about it this way, honey. I'd planned on putting all of this away, and just being your familiar old dad as soon as I could once we got back."

"But, someone else would have noticed the pictures."

"I know, it's something your mother and I forgot about. We'll just have to be selective about which pictures we show I guess."

"Is there anywhere I can learn more about what you're going through?"

"Sure, I can give you something that might help understand what it feels like, and later, I can point you to some places on the internet where you can see some explanations of GID and transsexualism."

"I'd like that."

"Okay, take your shoes off, and put them on the other feet and try to walk."

"Ouch. This doesn't work." Vicky quickly sat back down and put her shoes on the right way round.

I nodded. "It's sorta like that with my skin. It must be extremely hard for anyone else to really understand." I thought. "Remember your friend Jayne?"

She nodded. "Remember how she used to just tell you to run a little faster, or tease 'cause you ran out of breath climbing sometimes, because of your asthma?" She nodded again. "What happened last year, when she developed asthma?"

Vicky's eyes got big. "She finally understood what I'd been going through."

"Exactly. Being transgendered is sorta like that. It's really hard to truly understand without having the condition."

"Wow. Thanks, Dad. You are still my Dad?"

I nodded. "Of course, I'll always be your parent. I'll find you those web sites, and your mom may have found some in her searches the past few months. Then, maybe you'll better understand me as things get more or less back to normal."

I don't know how long Shelly had been standing there. "Normal will probably be different though. Sorry for blowing up on you earlier, honey."

She jumped up. "It's okay, Mom."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I was serious upstairs, Stevie. You're not going away. I don't know how things will work out, but we're all working this out together. You too, Vicky."

A week later, I still had the nice hairstyle.  Neighbors just shook their heads.  The looks I got at the store were actually fun to some extent.  I'd always enjoyed surprising folks.  The "yes, ma'—sir" reaction was almost funny.  Shelly seemed even more relaxed around me, and, I was surprised that she let me, okay asked me to, wear the nightgown.

On awakening this morning, I found a little fuzzy box next to my glasses.

"Honey, looks like you left something out last night."

"No, that's yours."  She was more awake than I'd realized at the time.

"Huh?"  Okay, I really wasn't that awake yet, but I sat up in the bed, got my glasses and picked up the little box.  I wondered what she'd gotten for me.  "Now, what kind of thing would you have stuffed in here."  I know what I'd put into a box like this all those many years ago.  But, it couldn't be.  "New earrings?" I asked laughingly.

"Just open it silly, and stop guessing.  I think I've finally really surprised you though."

"This nightgown was a big surprise."

"Come on, just open it."

"Okay, okay."

I opened the box, and almost dropped it.  "No"

"Yes, Stevie.  You gave me one while we were in school.  It's time I returned the favor."

"But, but."

She reached over, and took the box from my unresisting hands.  I really was stunned.  Then, she took it out, and carefully slid the ring onto my left hand.

"Every married lady should have two rings, if she can.  I'm just sorry I neglected you all these years."

I finally broke out of my shock, and took her into my arms, showing how much I appreciated what she'd said and done.

Where do things go from here? None of us knew. I was only aware that my family loved me, and would be with me as we found out.

--- The End