Jess' first schoolgirl crush! This is when everything changed for her.
I lay in bed, looking straight at Beth who was still sound asleep. I was no longer wearing the blonde wig. I still had the black lace bra on, but one of the breast forms was out. That was the only bit of clothing I still had on.
I gently got out of bed, I didn’t want to disturb Beth. I sat at my desk and picked up the mirror that Lucy brought into the room when Beth and I were watching “Mean Girls”. Apart from the lack of feminine hair and a little bit of smudged makeup, my eyes were still really big and blue. I still looked girly. I wasn’t sure what Lucy had planned for me today, so I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, rubbed off the makeup as much as I could and went downstairs.
Lucy was sat at the dining room table, reading an old magazine. “Morning Jess” she said. A little smirk on her face made me respond as I did.
“Not sure if you have lost your mind, but I’m James. Your younger brother. Jess isn’t here”, My response wasn’t angry or happy, or in fact anything other than normal conversation. I wanted to forget that I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I wanted to be wearing something more girly, deep down, I wasn’t too sure at that moment that those were the feelings I had. All I knew was that I didn’t feel “normal”. Lucy just sat there, continuing to read her old magazine.
I grabbed a half empty orange juice container from the fridge and went back upstairs. I didn’t really want any, I just wanted to see if Lucy was up or not. I got back into my room and grabbed all the various items of clothing I was wearing the previous night and put them on the chair next to my desk. Then I got to the skirt. I held it up, it looked shorter than I thought it was, or maybe that was just my perception of it now that I wasn’t feeling so excited. Either way, I couldn’t quite understand what I was feeling right then.
There were still a couple of bags that I hadn’t explored the previous night, a few items of clothing that Lucy had bought for me, inside one of the Marks & Spencers bags was a New Look bag and a Primark bag. Nothing spectacular, I thought, so I just emptied it all out on my floor to see what was there. The New Look bag contained a couple of tops with sale tags on, and the Primark bag had some leggings, tees and a few bits of cheap jewellery. I put it all back in the bags and chucked the bags under the chair. The next bag was all M&S stuff, couple of pairs of trousers, another black skirt and a pair of denim shorts. I guess Lucy was wanting me to dress up casual at some point. I put that bag behind the door.
So there I was, sat cross legged on my bedroom floor with 4 bags in total with girls school uniform and casual girls clothing in. This was all really weird. But I didn’t want to let anyone down now. I sat there, just staring into space. Not looking at anything in particular, not thinking about anything in particular. I didn’t notice Beth was now sat up in my bed looking at me. I didn’t notice her get out of bed either.
I jumped out of my skin when she kissed me on my neck from behind. Her hands on my shoulders. Shivers ran down my spine to start with. It was like total role reversal from the norm. You see, before last night, I was the big strong man, all being the little strong man. I wasn’t a jock, I wasn’t a geek. I had friends in every friendship group, not that I was popular. I played Rugby and Football, it was good fun to have girls screaming my name when I played well. But here I was, a partially macho 16 year old, sat on a floor, with a gorgeous girl behind me, quivering as if she was a big burly man and I was a petite little girl being touched for the first time.
What was going on?
For the rest of the day I stayed in my Jeans and T-Shirt. Secretly hoping that Lucy would come up and say “Hey, put the shorts, leggings, and one of those tops on - let’s go shopping”. But no, it was as if nothing had happened the night before.
6pm came around, a few texts from my Mum saying where they were on the journey home had arrived throughout the day and we were expecting her to be home, along with my Dad, in about an hour or so.
“JAMES!” I heard Lucy shouting from her room. I was playing on the PlayStation again. I ignored it at first. Kept on playing. Clearly she was annoyed.
My bedroom door slammed open. “For fuck sake James!” she shouted, throwing the blonde wig at me. “Why the fuck aren’t you answering my texts?”
“What texts?” I looked at her, my phone hadn’t gone off for about 2 hours. Beth was out with her friends watching some crappy film that I had no interest in what so ever, something about shiny vampires. I checked my phone. There were the texts. 3 in fact.
“Mum thinks you are staying at Beth’s tonight. She also thinks that a friend called Jess is staying over” was the first one.
“The more you ignore these the worse this is going to be. I am NOT covering for you ignoring me.” was the second.
The third was simple. “Mum and Dad will be home in 45 minutes. Get your ass in my room now.”
There was no way I could dress as Jess in front of my parents. How the hell would they even believe that I was anything other than their son in drag? They’d recognise me, ok so my Mum would recognise me, Dad would just be oblivious. That would be where I get my huge attention span from.
“No way Luce. Not a way in hell. I’d never pass for one. And I don’t think I can go through with this at all. I really don’t. What if someone recognises me? What if I fuck it all up?”, I tried to reason, Lucy was not having any of it. She left me in my room. The wig was on my lap. There were plenty of girls clothes in my room to wear as Jess. And considering that it didn’t take long to put makeup on last night, why would it now? I put the wig on, the pigtails from last night were still styled nicely. I got off the bed and checked myself in Lucy’s mirror, I could see Jess there already. I took my jeans off, took the boxers off, put the gaff and black lace knickers on. Pulled the leggings on and put the denim shorts on.
I tied my slightly over-sized t-shirt to my right hand side so I could see how the shorts looked. They were tight on my ass, made it look so feminine. Not short enough to look slutty, but stylish. “I must be out of my mind” I said to myself. I couldn’t decide if I should go ahead with it or not. Would Lucy agree to playing it off as a joke if the parents guessed it was me? Surely they would see the funny side.
“Luce! Can you call Mum and find out where they are?” I shouted. I didn’t want her to come into my room and see that I was getting changed. I put the bra on, and grabbed one of Beth’s shirts, it was red and blue checked. She left it behind a few weeks back after a friends house party that ended up with us staying at her place. I figured if girls can wear it with a denim skirt it would look fine with shorts too. I didn’t put the breast forms in, I was going to leave them til last. So here I was, stood in my room, with Blonde hair, wearing a girls shirt, shorts and leggings. I was just 2 steps away from being Jess again.
I wanted to see if I looked ok, the only place, other than the hallway and Lucy’s room, that had a full length mirror was my parents bedroom. How on earth was I going to get to my parents room like this? I grabbed my jeans, pulled them on over the shorts and put a hoody on over the shirt. I took the wig off and went for it. I had only taken a few steps before Lucy opened her door.
“Alright Missy? Mum and Dad stopped at services, lucky you eh? They are going to be another hour or so.” She said, leaning on her door frame. She almost smirked, but I think she wanted to make me feel like she was on my side, make me feel more comfortable.
“I am not becoming Jess in front of our parents Luce. No way. They’ll have me locked up!”, I said, I walked into the bathroom. There wasn’t a full length mirror, but if I stood on the bath I could see pretty much most of me. So I did, I completely forgot to take off the guys clothes covering my secret, it was silly. I took the clothes off and stood back on the bath.
I couldn’t see my face. I didn’t have breasts. But that ass! I didn’t bother putting the hoody and jeans back on, it was time to just admit it, I wanted to try it and why the heck not? I was 90% sure that Lucy would agree to play it off as a prank if the parents recognised me. I got to my room, closed the door, no sign of Lucy, her bedroom door was closed so she was probably in there. I put the wig back on, took the pigtails out and messed the hair up a little bit. I undid a few more buttons on the shirt and slipped the breast forms into the bra cups. I did a couple of buttons up and walked out into the hall. There was a makeup free Jess stood in the hallway, she looked like she was set for a day shopping with the girls.
I knocked on Lucy’s door in a similar way to how Beth knocks our front door, just thought I would make my own version up see if she noticed it. I popped my head around and in my feminine voice said “Can I get your help with my makeup again? I want it to look right.”
Lucy just stood up, and hugged me, and said “Welcome back little sis. Of course I will. Take a seat.”
It was not even 10 minutes later, I was made up as Jess once more.
“I like the shirt on you, but I think you need to wear a vest top underneath it, just because it’s fitted and it shows a bit of skin around your side. And you’re a little hairy too! The vest will be a little longer, but won’t cover your ass too much.”, She said, the advice was warming in a way, I took off the shirt and took the white vest off of Lucy and put it on.
She took a few photos of me posing, she took some on my phone and sent one to Beth. I was sure she would approve.
“Lucy, look, I will go and get changed if you don’t agree to this. I want to play this off as if it’s a prank if either of our parents recognise me as being James.”, I stated, I wanted to be firm, but was still putting on Jess’ voice. It seemed to work. “I don’t care if they see me like this, they saw me at Halloween so it’s not like it’s a new thing as such. But this is much more of an effort than ever before.”
“Jess, that’s fine. Of course, I understand. Look, you are doing me a massive favour doing this, I am not forgetting that. I knew you would help me if I pushed you a little bit, but I didn’t want to push you too hard. You have to be 100% sure that you want to help me out if that is what you want. If you aren’t 100% then you are gonna fail, be recognised as a boy and totally destroy my chances of writing a decent essay” ,she said, “I love you too bits. I know you can do this for me”. Her hand on my shoulder reassured me.
“Thank you” I said, smiling. I knew she meant it. I could see it in her eyes.
Time flew by, Lucy and I were sat in the living room watching tele and eating chocolate. Laughing at stupid things when the parents walked in, “Hey girls!”, Mum shouted as she walked into the kitchen. “Lucy, thanks for keeping the house clean. Has James been in today? He hasn’t been replying to his phone much. Hope he isn’t getting into any trouble with that girlfriend of his”.
Standard Mum talk, Dad didn’t say much, just sat in the arm chair, sighed and complained about the rubbish on the TV. We stayed for another half hour or so, until Mum piped up, “So Jess, haven’t seen you around before, you new to the area?”
Lucy and I made up a story off the top of our heads, and just kept going with it for a bit. We decided to go out. Why stay in with the parents? We met up with Beth and her friends after the film finished and went to the bowling alley and chatted. Time flew and the day was almost over. I went home with Lucy and slept on the inflatable mattress on the floor of Lucy’s room. When I woke up in the morning I freaked out to find Lucy had gone. I checked the makeup, it was smudged all over the place and I looked a mess.
I didn’t have any PJs or anything! What the heck was I supposed to do. I improvised and went to find Lucy wearing just the vest top and leggings. It was a gamble, but it played off. My parents didn’t recognise me, and they never said a thing all day. I left as Jess around midday, and this was the easiest part. Lucy came with me, I used the new look bag to take my guy clothes with me and took the Primark bag. We got to Beth’s, I changed back to James. And headed home, carrying a Primark bag containing Jess’ things.
The next few days went along OK, Jess didn’t make an appearance and Lucy didn’t mention it. I couldn’t stop thinking about her though. She was always with me, because she was me. I was thinking of her as a real person already. I spent a couple of hours every day researching various things. I wanted to educate myself, so I spent more and more time on my laptop. Practicing mannerisms in my room and such like. It was simply learning.
Lucy had arranged for me to visit the school I would be going to as Jess, she gave me no notice at all, well, she gave me 14 hours notice. She didn’t want Jess to go to the visit. I was going as a new Sixth Form student. But with a special drop in to the head Mistress. Not sure why, but I had decided before I went to sleep that night that I would wear my girly underwear and leggings under my male clothes to the school, the idea of it felt exciting. I didn’t tell Lucy of my plans.
We toured the school, visited all the departments that I would be involved in as a Sixth Former, and ate lunch with a few other prospective students. After lunch our visit was over, well, future sixth form students visit was over, I headed to the head’s office.
“James, I have been looking forward to meeting you for the past week since Lucy first mentioned the idea to me”, she said, shaking my hand and smiling. “I want you to know now that the only other person that knows about this is the head of administration and admissions. You are perfectly safe, no other member of staff will know who you are. When you start everyone will know you as Jess.”
“Thank you, I haven’t decided if I want to go through with it 100% just yet, I wanted to see how I could fit in with the school.”, I responded, “I’m 80% sure that I’m cool with it. But I have to make sure.”
“I understand, I completely understand. My specialism is Psychology so Lucy’s experiment intrigues me more than it would with other heads in the area. Maybe you could visit the school for a tour as Jess some time soon? Maybe a few days before you start? So it seems like you are like any other mid-term transfer student”.
The conversation continued, we made arrangements for me to drop in at the end of next week. For the next week myself and Lucy sorted everything out. The parents were told, they knew it was all about getting Lucy’s essay completed. And they were right behind me. The background story was that the whole family were moving to the area, Lucy was not a relation, I was an only child. As far as the story we were going to tell was at least. The school sent letters confirming Lucy as my personal mentor, it was all really official. The day came when I was to visit the school that I would be attending for 3 full weeks. The story we were to use was that I currently lived a few hours away, and I was visiting the tale end of the day. I was wearing my “current school’s uniform” - It was Beth’s cardigan, tie and blazer that I wore, I wore my skirt, my tights, my shirt and my shoes. My hair was in a low pony tail, and I wore subtle makeup that I applied myself. Nobody blinked an eye, nobody suspected that I was a boy, the afternoon went very quickly.
That weekend was really tense, Lucy, Beth and myself went shopping for clothes, mainly for some extra things, we also got some PE kit. I was all set.
The first two days of school were uneventful, I made a couple of friends and we got on quite well. They wanted to add me on Facebook and that’s where it hit me - I needed a proper back story. It needed to be in depth. We used photos of my cousin to create a few “old” pictures. I claimed to not have a Facebook set up because my parents were really strict. It payed off, and I set one up that evening.
The third day was when I met Matt. Matt is a popular boy. He was on the schools rugby team, and all the other girls loved him to bits. I thought he was a bit of a jerk to start with. That was before I worked with him on a poetry thing in English. I saw a side to him that cared. That was lovely. I guess you could say Matt was Jess’ very first schoolgirl crush.
I had to work really hard at all of this now. I didn’t want to get emotionally involved with anyone, but if I didn’t get involved at all people would get suspicious. I forgot that this was all a social experiment. And I did end up getting emotionally involved with a couple of the girls in a few of my classes.
We hung out after school on the Wednesday of week 1, and they ripped it out of me for having a thing for Matt. The girly voice that I was putting on worked well, nobody could guess at all. We talked about the weekend and our plans, I said that I had none and they invited me to join them on their shopping trip. I was scared, I’ve heard about Beth’s shopping trips - her friends shared changing rooms! I couldn’t do that! How on earth would I do that.
Luckily it didn’t happen, I didn’t share any changing rooms. I did, however, spend far too much money. I bought a couple of skirts for school, different styles to what Lucy originally bought me. I bought a hoody, three pairs of shoes and about £80 on makeup in Boots. Why? I have no idea! I only had 2 weeks left of this malarkey, I guess I wanted to fit in. Would look weird if I didn’t buy anything, right?
Monday came around too soon, I woke up at 7 and had a shower. The hairs on my legs had grown back a little already, and so I had to shave them because I had PE that morning. Mixed rounders in fact. We played rounders with the boys. Last week was horribly cold so I got away with wearing tracksuit bottoms, but today was promising to be one of the hottest days of July in a long time. Today it was game skirt or shorts. The shorts were too small for me, Lucy probably got them too small on purpose!
I wore one of the new skirts I bought on Saturday to school that day. This one had less pleats than the other pleated skirt I had, it also came with a black ribbon tie belt. I fell in love when I saw it, it was cute and flirty all at the same time. I wore tights, but not the same ones as last weeks, these had a diamond pattern. I put a blue ribbon in my hair that day too, I wanted to try some of the things I had been reading about. When I went downstairs Lucy squeaked. I have never heard her squeak before! I already had my bag packed with my PE kit in, and my school bag was packed up too. I was ready to go.
“You look so cute Jess! Is that what you bought on Saturday?”, looking at my new skirt, she said “You look so so cute! I do hope you haven’t got your tracksuit bottoms in there!”
I put my hand in and grabbed the games skirt, chucked it at her. She caught it, beamed and threw it back. “You know this is going so well. I can’t wait to start writing this stuff up!” she said. I left and met up with Bex, Effy and Charlie and walked to school. Matt was about 12 paces behind us from about half way to school. He was going to be playing rounders this morning. I so hoped we would be on opposite teams.
I hadn’t really noticed what was happening to me, I was acting like a girl because I had to. Or so I thought. Here I was, in the second of three weeks. Dressed in girls clothes, day dreaming about a boy. Wanting his attention. I didn’t snap out of it all day. I flirted. I got his number. He wanted to go see a movie together. I don’t know why I agreed. Doing the being a girl thing in school was fairly easy. Shopping with a few girls wasn’t that difficult at all. But being alone with a boy. What if he tried it on. What if he found out I wasn’t really a girl.